The Advice Column II

226

Advice Request
This person has a friend who likes their crush also, and is trying to make them jealous by trying to get close to their common crush.

Answered Submission
Hello!

I'm glad you could trust The Advice Column enough to seek more advice from us.

First of all, I'd suggest that you try to talk to your friend to see if she really is saying bad stuff about you behind your back. I understand that confronting the issue might cause a few problems, but if you approach it maturely and sensibly, then there shouldn't be as much of an issue. It does sound like she might like the same guy, but she's approaching trying to tell him a different way to how you would. This is absolutely fine because everyone has different ways of expressing how they feel. But you won't know if or why she is saying bad things about you until you mention that other people have told you what she has been saying. It might be the case that she hasn't said anything about you, and other people could be trying to cause trouble.

I think that you should continue to hang out with her because she is still your friend, but also there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to expand your friendship group and make new friends, at the same time. There will always be problems within friendships; they might be the smallest of things or the biggest of arguments. I have been through both of these, and I can honestly say that the way you deal with the situation will always determine the outcome of that friendship.

If your crush were to ask you out, it would be absolutely fine for you to say yes because that would mean that you both like each other. If you were unsure at the time, then there would be nothing wrong with asking this guy about your friend and how he feels about her. There would also be nothing wrong with you approaching him, letting him know how you feel, and asking him out.

I think it's hard to judge if she is a true friend or not because you don't 100% know if she has been speaking about you badly behind your back, or what she has been saying about you. You also don't know what her intentions are with the guy. Considering neither of you have ever told each other how you feel about the guy, neither of you know why the other person is doing what they're doing. But if your crush asks you out, then you have every right to say yes.

Good luck,

The Advice Column Team