The Advice Column II

300

Advice Request
The requester has a friend they no longer want to be friends with, however the two have a mutual friendship group.

Answered Submission
Hi there!

It is hard to just avoid her because you two have the same friends. I advise you to directly ask your friends why they are still stringing her along with them if they're annoyed by her.

They might say that they don't want to leave her alone and friendless, or they still want to be friends with her despite her annoying them. You should tell them nicely that, instead of complaining about how annoying she is, they should try to tell her how they're annoyed by something that she does. I don't know what they're annoyed by, but I can safely assume that it is something bad that she usually does. Try to tell them, if they're really friends, that they should help the girl instead of saying bad things about her behind her back. That's what friends are for; guiding us back to the right road. If the girl keeps on doing that 'something' that annoys them, there's a chance that other people would not like her as well, and, as her friends, they should not let that happen.

You have said something to the girl, but you're always told by your friends to apologize, or that you are out of line. This might not be what you want to hear, but you should apologize and be the bigger person. I was not present when you said that something to her, so I don't know why your friends kept on saying that you were out of line, but I just want to tell you to try another approach and say those words to her. Maybe the way that you are saying it to her sounds rude to them (even if it's not to you; it's a matter of different perspectives here). I know how frustrating it gets when you just honestly are trying to say something helpful but it's taken negatively.

If you have to hang out with her, I advise you to focus on the positive thoughts.

Also, I think these steps will help:
1.    Don't let her annoy you. Just tell yourself to not be bothered with what she did. Focus on other things that matter more to you.
2.    Try to be more mature when conversing or interacting with her.
3.    Don't let hatred consume you because hatred is an ugly thing for someone to have in their heart.
4.    Be polite when meeting her. Straight up ignoring her would be rude, so it would be nice to just make small talk with her such as saying 'hi' or 'good morning,' and proceed on doing your own work.

Throughout our lives, we will always be in situations where we need to socialize with people who we are not really fond of, so try seeing this situation as a way to learn how to be more mature and how to be a better person.
I hope this helps, and I wish you the best of luck.

With love,
The Advice Column Team