The Advice Column II

220

Advice Request
This person is really confused whether they should end their relationship or not.

Answered Submission
Hello!

Looking at your situation, it seems like both of you really love each other, and you seem to be a very important person in her life, as she is in yours.

I understand that the elders and adults in your country may not agree with LGBT+, and are strongly against it, but if that's how you are, and you are happy with yourself, it will be alright. It's just a matter of time. As you said, both your mothers are worried about what is happening, but love is always good to fight for.

If your mom is very understanding and loving, you can always open up to her and tell her the entire truth (this will be very difficult but it can really, really help you). Your mom should understand and stand by you, if she truly loves you. It may take you time to open up to your mom about this, so in the meantime, try to keep your relationship secret. Secrets are not the best to keep from people you love because, most of the time, the truth comes out, but in this situation, it's the best you can do. Don't worry. With time, everything will fall into place. You can keep it a secret for as long as you can, if it's really worth fighting for.

However, if you only told her that to make her feel loved, it is only wrong if you don't actually love her in that way. If you mean you love her in a friendship way, and she also knows that is what you mean, then that is fine. It seems like you aren't being completely honest with her or clear about your feelings at all, which isn't a good thing. The least you could do is let her know exactly how you feel, whilst still reminding her that she still has you as a friend, no matter what.

If you see her as just a friend, please be vocal about it, and don't let her think otherwise. You don't have to force yourself into this situation. There are other ways to help, but there's no need to lie to her.

If you want to help her, you can also talk to a teacher or an adult you trust about her suicidal thoughts, and seek help for her through therapeutic sessions, for example. It's not too late to change the future. You can still help her out.

Best of luck,

The Advice Column Team