The Advice Column II

301

Advice Request
The requester came out to their friend and their friend to them, the requester also likes their friend but their friend doesn't.

Answered Submission
Hi there!

First of all, congratulations on coming out to someone. I understand how difficult it can be to come out, so that's an amazing thing that you should be proud of. :)

As for your feelings towards your friend: I think you should ask yourself a few questions about how you feel about her. Considering you've come out to her, is she your first female crush? Also, with her coming out to you, could this have influenced your feelings for her? Sometimes knowing that someone is essentially going through the same thing as you can influence how you feel about that person. Another question you could consider is do you like her in the way that you think you like her? I know this might add confusion to your feelings, but you say that she sees you as a sister. Could your feelings towards her be the love/liking that happens between siblings?

I completely understand how asking yourself these questions might not help, but in the same sense, I think they'll help you establish how you really feel about her. And if it turns out that you do like her as more than a friend, I think telling her could help, just to get it out in the open. I know that it's going to be hard and that you have tried before, and I understand that it might put a strain on the friendship, but by not telling her, you'll never know for sure how she might feel, and you'll drive yourself crazy wondering "what if?"
I hope this helps.

Good luck!
The Advice Column Team