The Advice Column II

314

Advice Request
This person is worried for their friends.

Answered Submission
Hi,

I need you to know first that you're not in any way responsible for what happens to them. I understand that you're their friend and you care about them, but you shouldn't feel as if anything is your fault or that you "could've stopped it". You can definitely help them get through this but don't feel guilty about the consequences of their actions. What they decide to do is out of your hands and the best you can do is be a friend they can lean on during the hard times.

Offer to hear them out. Ask them if they're okay when they don't seem like it and make sure they know that you're ready to listen to them vent about their problems. Don't directly tell them to stop cutting if that makes them angry but do get them to understand that there are ways to let out the pain inside besides self-harm.

Bottling things up can increase the damage within ourselves. The internal pain can grow so horrible that one might start to prefer physical pain that could be felt over that senseless pain. Give them a chance to express what bothers them so they don't reach the point of yearning to hurt themselves.

If things ever get bad then know it's time to tell a trusted adult, preferably a councellor, about this issue.

Once again what happens to them is not your responsibility. The most you can do is be a good friend for them.

Good luck!
The Advice Column