The Advice Column II

292

Advice Request
This person is having some best friend issues.

Answered Submission
Hello, Dear!

I'm so happy you decided to take charge of your situation and come to us in search of help. Relationships of any kind (be it friendships, marriages, dating relationships, etc.) are all complicated, and they take real work to keep up with. It's not easy in the least, but I figure you've already realized that. At the same time, every relationship is a two-way street. One person can't be carrying all the weight and taking the brunt of the work or else the relationship is going to end up falling apart. This is what's happening to you now. However, I don't want you to get upset at her friend. There's no reason for you to do so because it's perfectly feasible to have more than one friend. If your friend is neglecting you, then it is HER fault, not the new person's. Ergo, I suggest that you go talk to her. It doesn't have to be right away. Just find a time to propose a day for the two of you to spend entirely together. You could go to the movies, a restaurant/diner, or even go laser tagging. Just find something where you can interact together. If she proposes taking the new girl along, say that your mom is treating you to a day with ONE friend to do whatever you guys want together, and she's only giving you enough money for two, so then it wouldn't work.

I'm not going to lie, fixing your friendship is going to take time and serious effort. But based off of what you've said, it seems like she's worth it, so give it your all. After a bit, try to continuously meet up for something together. One big mistake I don't want you to make: don't let her focus all her attention on you. That's not fair to you, her, or the other girl. You need to give her time to breathe as well. If you need to have a talk together, do so. If you feel like she's not the same person and not your friend, then leave her. You have to feel the waters out from your end, and above all, trust your gut instincts. I have full confidence that you can make this work. Best of luck, my dear!

Love,

The Advice Column Team