The Advice Column II

257

Advice Request
This person is having some trouble with her friends.

Answered Submission
Hey there!

I'm so glad to hear that our advice helped you!  That's what we're here for and what we love to do.

Look, sometimes people just do things for no reason at all or for a "It's not you, it's me" reason. Neither you nor I can exactly predict why your other friend decided to suddenly leave you and drop out of your life; her choice could be due to a variety of reasons. Maybe she felt like she wasn't being a good friend and left. Maybe she was hurting and wanted to distance herself from everyone and focus on herself. There are many more reasons for a situation like this, but we cannot exactly pinpoint the true one without directly asking her.

On the other hand, this shouldn't make you believe that other people will abandon you the minute you end up saying something wrong. I know it's hard, and sometimes our brains strongly enforce the fact that things were our fault all along, but numerous times, it's truly in our heads. If your friends love you, they'll accept you despite any mistakes you'll make and own up to because they love and care about you!

I'm glad things worked out between you and the friends who moved away though.

As for telling the friend who abondoned you: I believe it's best to come clean to her, when you feel like it's the right time. You don't deserve to feel upset and guilty everytime you talk to her, because she was the one who left without an answer. Besides, bottling up your emotions can just make things worse, honestly. Sit down together, be direct, tell her that you're willing to listen to her point of view. Let her know that if she's going to treat you like you can be discarded whenever she feels like it, you won't let her because you deserve better.

Just talk to and listen to each other, and make sure to do it when you're comfortable and not completely nervous.

Good luck! I hope things work out between the two of you! 

Love,

The Advice Column Team