The Advice Column II

305

Advice Request
The requester really likes a boy that her friend likes too, their friendship is rocky currently.

Answered Submission
Hi there!

Going into high school and having that change in education can have an effect on many friendships. It's at this point that your friendships will be tested, so I suggest that, since you feel like you're already going through a bit of a rough patch, you should work on getting your friendship back to normal with "Yvette" before you focus on anything regarding crushes or relationships. At the end of the day, it is your friendship with "Yvette" that is more important to you, especially since you have been friends for four years already.

Considering you feel like "Yvette" keeps disregarding your feelings, I advise you try to explain to her how you feel; explain that you feel like she is ignoring your feelings, and tell her how it makes you feel. Hopefully, she will understand that you feel upset by this and you can work on how to equally discuss both of your feelings together.

I understand that if your friend also likes "Ronald," you might feel like backing off and letting something develop between the two of them, but if you did this, then you would be disregarding your own feelings. I know that "Yvette" is your friend and you wouldn't want anything to come between that, but I would suggest, before doing anything, speaking to "Ronald" and seeing if he does like either of you. Obviously, this would need to be done maturely because he might not want to feel pressured into choosing between you two. So if you do ask "Ronald" who he likes, I suggest approaching the topic with maturity and sensitivity. Alternatively, you could talk to "Yvette" to see if she likes him and then explain that you like him too. If you both like him, then I'd suggest letting fate take its path and allowing "Ronald" to decide over time, with no pressure and no choice having to be made. In this situation, I would advise weighing which is more important to you: a friendship of four years that could and will go on to many more years, or a boy/crush in high school.

Just remember, though, that whatever happens, "Ronald" is one of many boys out there. There will be other boys that you have a crush on, and there will be many boys who will have a crush on you. This is the same for your friend. High school is a messy but wonderful time, and you're likely to face more of these crushes. But as long as your friendship survives, that's the most important part because then you've always got someone there to support you and help you through everything. You could always have "Yvette" by your side, but I can't promise the same for any high school crush/relationship.

Hope this helps,
The Advice Column Team