The Advice Column II

282

Advice Request
This person is having school, social, and future problems.

Answered Submission
Hey there,

To start off, I'd like you to know that you deserve to voice any problems you face. No matter how small or "silly" they seem, you have every right to express them somehow to someone. You shouldn't hold back in fear that it'll be troublesome. Whatever it is, The Advice Column will always here to listen (well, as much as reading can be considered listening in this case) and give what advice we can.

I can understand how hard it is to be a shy person in school. With time, I'm sure your confidence will grow naturally. If you'd like to work on it yourself, you can begin by challenging yourself to start conversations with new people, join clubs or contests — in other words, try more things outside your comfort zone.

As for your grades, I believe you should try to accept that you may not always get the most amazing marks. As long as you're doing your best the specifics shouldn't matter. The true value is in learning, not just in exam results.

When it comes to freezing up when you study with someone, perhaps you could laugh it off. I know it must matter to you that you don't come off as stupid, but sometimes it's alright to be a little silly. You're in school, you're still young and it's one thousand percent okay for you to take it easy. If it's possible, allow yourself to just laugh out loudly (freely even) and say something along the lines of "oh I forgot the answer to this one!". You could maybe even just smile and shrug, as long as you don't beat yourself up for not being able to say the answer. I can't emphasize enough how much it's perfectly okay to appear a little clueless. You know for a fact that you do know those answers and that's what matters.

Questioning your friendships is no different than questioning your own worth as a friend. Ask yourself this: Are you nice towards others? Do you respect the people around you and their opinions? Are you considerate of their thoughts and feelings? Do you often ask about your friends' well-being? Do you listen to their issues? Are you there for them when they need it? If you can answer yes to all of these questions, then there is no doubt you're a wonderful person and friend. I see no reason why your friends wouldn't want to appreciate you. I'm sure they do, and if there happens to be anyone who doesn't then that's their loss, not yours. You shouldn't worry about how truly loyal people are. Be true to yourself and treat people in the most beautiful ways you'd like to be treated. I assure you the amount of love you give will find its way back to you.

If there's anything your friends do that bothers you in any way, talk to them about it. Explain that their teasing is hurting you. Don't back away from confrontation. I see how hard it can be but communication is key. Sometimes you need to explain to someone directly that what they're doing isn't a nice thing to do. Same thing goes for when they don't listen to your problems. Ask them to listen. It's not such a bad thing to demand a tiny bit of attention from someone you believe might understand every once in a while.

Finally, about your passion (writing), I really can't tell you anything more than this: keep on writing. Even if it "might not work out", know for a fact that you'll regret not trying at all more than trying and failing. Besides, even if you do fail once, twice, even a thousand times, it isn't a failure as much as it's one step closer to getting better and becoming great at what you do. Don't do it just because you want it to "work out". Do it because you're passionate about it.

Be honest and genuine, do what you love doing and spend time with those you love — that's all you need to do, ever. It's that simple.

Now wake up from your sleep, hair all ruffled and messy, and laugh at the sun; just because you can.

With love,

The Advice Column