The Advice Column II

276

Advice Request
The requester's friend was rude tot hem because they are dating a close friend of theirs, and now the requester is unsure of how to approach them.

Answered Submission
Hello,
It's great to know that you trust us again and again to help you!

It is never easy to have a fight with your friend, especially a best friend. I know this is very cliche, but I think her being mad at you might be a result of the fact that you are dating her close friend. I don't know towards what exactly she she may be directing her jealousy, but I suspect that she's jealous because you dating her close friend means that the two of you are going to spend more time together without her.

You said she gets bullied by other people and this might be the reason why she needs more attention. Being bullied affects your mental health. Sometimes people who are bullied think of themselves as worthless. She might think that of herself when you date her close friend. She might feel like you two prefer each other over her and are abandoning her.

Now the question is: to forgive and forget, or to just move on?

I might be biased, but I'm leaning more towards forgiving and forgetting. To properly move on, you first must forgive and forget. Even if you don't want to be her friend, you can still forgive what she did. This way is better as it might give you a sense of closure to that chapter of your life.

I think it would be great if you try and apologise to her even though you haven't done anything wrong. She might be mad about something that you didn't know about. Even if it's not your fault, it is a step forward; whether it is towards becoming her friend again or moving on from her.

You've mentioned that you cannot contact her because your mom forbids you to. In that case you can ask your mother to let you talk to her. Tell her why you want to do so. You can also try asking your boyfriend or her other friends to convey your message to her instead if you cannot reach her.

You might be wondering what's best, to be friends again or not?

This is purely up to you. Your friends are all saying you should move on because they might be worried about you. You cried all night when you fought with your friend and I'm sure this is not something your friends want happening again. They mean well. However, if you're this bothered about moving on and leaving your friend behind, I say you could try to apologize to your friend and ask her what you did wrong. See where the situation takes you from there.

No matter what happens, don't let yourself be sucked into an acid relationship.

I hope this helps and wish you the best of luck.

With love,
The Advice Column Team