The Advice Column II

251

Advice Request
This person is having trouble with their friend.

Answered Submission
Hey there!

I'm sorry that you had to go through this. It is indeed a horrible feeling when somebody who you called your friend—even your best friend, in this case—was faking it.

However, have you talked to her to find out why she acted this way? Maybe you can try asking what exactly made her hate you in the first place. Nevertheless, it's important to keep in mind that, in life, you can't please everybody, and not everybody will like you.

You have mentioned that, when she never said anything to advise you, you made her feel useless. If you explicitly told her, "Gosh, you're so useless!" then, of course, the best solution would be to apologize and say that you were stressed—that you feel terrible for saying that, and that you didn't mean it. On the other hand, sometimes it's all in our heads. You don't have to worry about it, and you're not at fault here.

I understand that it hurts a lot when someone so close to you does something like this, but you need to remember that your best friend should be someone who is there for you through thick and thin, loves you despite your mistakes, and tries their best to understand you. For example, even though my best friend is terrible at advice and saying uplifting things, she still tries her hardest and always listens to what I have to say so she can empathize with me.

As to not having a horrible year: you've just started a fresh year of school with plenty of new opportunities! Talk to the new students in your school (if you have any); it's a great way to expand your social circle. Join clubs. Clubs are full of many like-minded people, and, again, you'll be able to expand your social circle. Sign up for school events, and talk to different people in your class. Surround yourself with people you genuinely have a good time with and those who are kind to you. Don't let your fake best friend's negativity get to you, because, from what you have said, you didn't seem to do anything mean or bad to her. The fact that your shared friends knew and didn't tell you is also mean and unfair.

Lastly, in regards to being a better friend, just be there for the people that you choose to befriend! Lend a helping hand, share laughs and jokes, talk about yourself, but get to know them as well! Cheer them up if they're feeling sad. If you don't have any advice to offer them when they're down, simply be there. It helps as well.

Good luck, and I hope that, despite everything, you do end up having a great year ahead and meet many new and lovely people! 

Love,

The Advice Column Team