The Advice Column II

310

Advice Request
This person likes a guy but is having a few troubles.

Answered Submission
Hello!

I understand your predicament, and it's not an easy one.

Since you've numbered everything that you've told me, I will answer all of those according to the numbers as best as I can.

1. I don't know why he has never made a move on her before, but let's not talk about that. I want you to ask yourself this: do you want to (a) make him like you back and forget his crush, or do you want to (b) excuse yourself from the competition and just let your crush pursue his crush?

These two options would lead you to taking two different paths, so choose wisely and ask yourself what you really want. If you choose (a), you can think of ways that might help in turning his attention to you and not his crush. If you choose (b), you could start thinking of ways to help yourself forget your crush.  But do know that, whichever path you take, the outcome is unpredictable. Don't blame yourself for choosing the wrong thing because, as cheesy as this is, I don't think there's a wrong path. Things happen for a reason.

2. Why did your friend say that? Try to ask her what he did to her to make her say that and what she meant by it. I want to ask you to be open with what she's going to say and don't ignore anything she says. The things that she will say might not side with your crush and could hurt your feelings. There's a high possibility that will happen.

If someone tells me something that I am having a hard time accepting, I usually let that information sink first into my head. Usually, after sleeping, my head will have cleared up and I would understand things more because, by then, my feelings don't get in the way of my mind and I can think better.

However, if you think that what she said is something that isn't true, try asking your crush's friends about him and also his other exes, if there are any. But at the end of the day, it's you who can choose who you want to believe because people can always lie and make up rumours. This could also be applied to your third predicament.

3. I don't know where you found out about him doing it, but it's not good to rely on rumours only. You could always ask him directly if he really does it or not, but I doubt that he would answer straight-forward because it is a sensitive topic. Despite that, you can always ask him, and even if he denies it or asks you why you asked, you should tell him honestly why. I'm sure you're just worried about his health and are hoping that he's not doing something to ruin himself.

4. I apologise that I can't say if he has feelings for you or not. If I were you, I would probably want to hear that he likes me, but thinking from what you have said rationally, what he did to you might have been out of kindness. It does show that he cares for you, since he gives you his jacket to keep you warm. As you've mentioned, he is a nice guy indeed.

I have the feeling that you want to pursue something more with him despite him having feelings for another girl, so I wish you the best of luck in that. If there's something that's not clear enough, feel free to ask us again.

With love,

The Advice Column Team