The Advice Column II

335

Advice Request
The requester was hurt by some of the things an old friend of theirs said.

Answered Submission
Hi, 
I'm sorry you were hurt like that by what your old friend has said. If she were someone important to you, I would have definitely encouraged you to be honest and talk it out with her. Since she isn't, though, and has always been this mean, I would suggest you just wait until it no longer bugs you. 

Now I know that sounds lame. Hurt feelings aren't dirt you can dust off your clothes. I get that. However, there are a few ways you can get her words out of your mind, or at least get them to stop bothering you as much. 

1. Write it down. Get yourself a notebook or a piece of paper at home and pour out everything regarding this person and how you feel towards her, her actions, and her words. Make sure you write everything that is on your mind. Whether you keep this paper or destroy it afterwards is up to you. Do make sure, though, that you read it at least once after finishing it. 
2. Talk to someone. Good friends can always find ways to make us feel better regarding the things that bother us. They might even make you laugh it off in the end. You can even tell a family member you trust, such as a parent or sibling. Find someone dear to you and tell them about this and how you feel about it. Surely they will help you feel better. 

It's not easy to learn what someone has said behind our backs, as those kinds of statements are usually harsher than what is said to us directly. With time, though, the pain she has inflicted with her words will definitely cease. Be patient and try not to let these thoughts turn over endlessly in your head before putting them down on paper or letting them out to someone. 

Make sure you know that, as much as those things she said about you were terrible, the very action of saying such things behind someone's back is even more terrible.  

With love,
The Advice Column