The Advice Column II

256

Advice Request
The requester has a small crush on someone but doesn't intend to get into a relationship.

Answered Submission
Hey there,

It sure is hard to keep our emotions in check when there's a crush involved. However, as you said, you don't want to live a life of regrets. Therefore you should go out there and live your life to its fullest, risks and all! You will most likely regret what you don't try more than what you do try.

Don't be afraid of showing more emotion than usual — that's completely okay, you are human after all and you're allowed a chance to be able to show your vunerable side at times. Vunerablity isn't a weakness as it may seem. It's in fact a strength that may open doors for us to build stronger and more honest relationships with those around us. Perhaps you could show to him in a way that you're interested in homecoming and that you don't have anyone to go with.

As for disappointment, that's really something that can't be prevented. You can, however, try not to have too many high expectations. The worst thing you can do to yourself is imagine situations or create scenarios in your head of how a certain person might act or be like. That way of thinking will definitely land you in disappointment because rarely do people turn out as we fantasize them. If you have any visions in your head of how you'd like your future lover to be like, don't apply them on this crush. Let yourself discover this person on your own without having anything in mind beforehand.

Feelings aren't something that can be sorted out or organised. It's messy — I know, but it is what it is. If you really like this guy continue to pursue a friendship with him. Ask him questions about himself and be ready to answer those questions yourself. Get to know him better and I'm sure eventually he will either show you how he feels towards you or he'll tell you. If you don't think you can wait for that, then maybe ask him about that yourself if you can work up the courage.

If you think you like him, then there's nothing wrong with taking a risk like this. You're growing up, after all, and you owe it to yourself to experience these things and learn from them. Remember that you can still focus on your grades even if you're in a relationship. A sensible person like you would surely know how to manage her time, so don't use that as an excuse not to follow your heart.

Love,
The Advice Column