The Advice Column II

362

Advice Request
The requestor has developed feelings for their online friend of the same gender.

Answered Submission
Hi there!

I, myself, have been in a situation very similar to this. I was speaking to a girl whom I had met online and eventually started to develop feelings for her, which made me question my sexuality, too, considering I had always assumed myself to be straight. (Turns out I've never been straight; I just thought I was because I didn't really know any different). So I confided in my best friend at school about how I was feeling and how my feelings for this girl had me confused. She helped me through it the best she could and was there to listen to me.

I would advise that you speak to a friend you can trust with this, and see if they can help you with how you are feeling. If you can't confide in a friend at school/work or wherever you are, then that's when I would suggest you speak to your friend online and tell her how you're feeling, especially since she is always there for you and listens to you. Yes, it might be hard to confess your feelings to the person you are feeling them for, but she is also a friend who you can clearly talk to and trust.

I also want to say that you might be feeling confused since this girl is giving you attention and clearly cares for you, and that might be why your feelings are confusing you. I know after I addressed my feelings, I found that I didn't like the girl online as much, or in the way that I thought I did, and you might feel the same way, too. Your feelings towards your friend might be purely platonic and rather a strong feeling of friendship.

You shouldn't let the worry of acceptance for who you are get in the way of your being yourself. It might take a while for you to figure yourself out, so you've got time to see if your family would accept you for you, whoever that may be. The truth is that you've always been you, and that won't change.

Speak to someone, confide in someone you can trust, and continue to speak to your friend online because I think, by doing this, your feelings will become clearer, and you'll understand them and yourself more.

I hope this helps,
The Advice Column Team