The Advice Column II

246

Advice Request
The requester has anxiety and due to previous experience, finds it hard to make friends.

Answered Submission
Hi,

For the record, you shouldn't be afraid that someone will feel annoyed if you open up to them. Those who do express annoyance when you share with them a vunerable side of yourself are not worth your time and definitely do not deserve your friendship. A friend is someone who will listen to you when you're hurting, someone who will respect what you're going through and try to understand and help — no matter what your problem is. Therefore don't let this one-time experience of opening up hinder you from ever opening up again.

Keeping things to ourselves and bottling up our feelings are the worst things we can do to ourselves. You owe it to yourself to let things out when you need to. That's why if there happens to be anyone out there who you think will be accepting of your issues don't be afraid of opening up to them. Remember, though, not to blame yourself for their reaction. Just know that if anyone pegs you as "annoying" or an "attention seeker" you shouldn't believe them and you should know at that moment that they simply do not deserve you.

I believe you should tell either your parents, a teacher, or any other adult you trust. Unlike kids your age they most likely won't find you "annoying" and you most definitely won't be bothering them by telling them the truth. This could help you with your anxiety a lot in the long run.

As for your friendships, try to choose your friends wisely. By the sound of it these friendship groups seem to end up bullying you. If you can honestly say that you're comfortable with this current group, stay, if not, leave. Don't just join groups because you're afraid of being left alone. Find someone who seems genuinely nice. It could be someone else in the friendship group who you may have noticed is not as hateful as the others, or a kid from your school who happens to hang out alone, or a cousin, a neighbour, etc.. Find someone special and once you are good friends remember that you should give them a chance to talk, for you to listen and understand them the way you wish for them to listen and understand in return.

All the best,
The Advice Column