The Advice Column II

248

Advice Request
The requester is afraid of coming out about their sexual identity.

Answered Submission
Hi there,

First of all, it's perfectly fine that you are seeking advice from us, no matter how often you do it; that's what we're here for! 

My one piece of advice to anyone who is discovering their sexuality and wanting to come out is that you don't have to come out until you are 110% ready to do it.

Considering that you have only recently discovered that you are pansexual, give yourself time to experience your new-found self. Then, only if, and when, you are ready to come out, tell your mum first. I'm sure that if she is accepting of others of the LGBT community, then she will be more than accepting of her own child. One thing about coming out is that you don't have to tell everyone at the same time, so when you feel ready to come out, you can tell your mum first and ask that she doesn't tell anyone else until you are ready to.

With your dad's views, the next time he turns something about gay people off, ask him why he has done that, then respond maturely to his answer. There are many ways that your dad could answer, and the same for your response. It could be, at this point, that you come out to your dad (if you're ready to), or you ask for your mum's support in telling your dad about your sexuality.

Ultimately, it's your decision who you come out to and when you do it. If you come out to your mum and are worried what your dad's views are, then you could ask your mum to speak to him about it; that way, you wouldn't have to go through anything that you would be uncomfortable with.

Remember that, through all of this, you need to be yourself and be proud of who you are.

Best wishes,

The Advice Column Team