The Advice Column II

371

Advice Request
The requestor got into an argument with their best friend and haven't talked since, they miss their friend.

Answered Submission
Hi Sweet!

I've been through a similar situation with my ex-best friend. She had said some hurtful stuff to me, too. I guess my actions had caused all of the argument, but I did it all unintentionally. Anyway, we went a year without speaking until she messaged my other best friend out of the blue and then messaged me apologizing for what she did. I also apologized, and I would now say that we are friends again. We talk occasionally but nowhere near as much as we used to.

I guess what I'm saying here is that it might take a bit more time for her to start speaking to you again. If she doesn't within that time, then I say it's not worth you worrying over it. If she's not willing to apologize for her actions—even after you've apologized to her—then why bother with someone like that? I know it might sound harsh because she was your best friend, but if she's not willing to put in the same amount of effort that you have in trying to get your friendship back on track, then spending more time thinking about whether or not to message her isn't worth it.

On the other hand, if you do really miss her and you have a feeling that you want to message her to explain how you're feeling, then it could be worth a try. You don't really have anything to lose since she already isn't speaking to you. I know in my situation, I didn't feel like speaking to my friend, so I didn't even think about messaging her, but if you do feel like trying to build the bridge between you guys, then it's certainly worth a try. I will say, though, that if you do end up messaging her, make sure you're not the one putting in all the effort in the conversation. Also, explain how what she has said has made you feel. If a conversation does arise, then it's definitely worth you both talking about how you made each other feel in order to sort through the problems.

I would advise not to get your hopes up for anything. Friendships that have broken down can take a while to rebuild, and some don't manage to get repaired at all.

I hope this helps,
The Advice Column Team