Shawn Mendes Imagines {COMPLETED}

150. Another Panic Attack

A few days ago my boyfriend Shawn Mendes left for Europe so he could do a documentary and partake in some music festivals. I really miss him and I hate it when he leaves me. When I was sixteen years old, my dad said that he didn't love my mom anymore and so they separated and he left. Sometimes I get scared that Shawn will stop loving me and leave me even though we have a house together and he's constantly telling me that he loves me, even when he's away. Shawn doesn't know that I feel scared like this and I don't want to tell him because I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Today I was feeling extra anxious and nervous about Shawn leaving me for some reason, and I hated it. I have anxiety so this isn't good. I started to pace around the house and talk outloud to myself to get my thoughts out.

"He's going to leave me. He's going to stop loving me," I said as I started to cry. I sat down on the couch and brought my knees to my chest. "He's going to find another girl while he's away and she's going to be beautiful and everything that I am not. He's going to stop loving me and leave me for her." I said. I was sobbing by now and didn't even hear a car pull into the driveway. I had stopped talking out loud but was still sobbing when the front door swung open and Shawn walked in. I got up and ran into his arms. He held me tight after dropping his luggage.

"What's wrong baby girl?" Shawn asked. I didn't answer. "Y/n? What's going on?" He asked. My breathing was rapid and it felt like my lungs were collapsing on me. My heart was racing so fast.

"I'm having - having a pan - panic attack." I choked out. Shawn looked so concerned and panicked and I felt bad for making him feel that way.

"Okay, let's go sit down, okay?" He asked. I nodded my head. He walked me over to the couch before bolting over to the refrigerator to get me a water. He brought me the water and sat on the couch with me. "Take a few slow sips, okay? Can you do that?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Yes." I said before taking three small sips.

"Good. Now take a deep breath in, like this," Shawn said, demonstrating what to do. I did it. "Good, now let it out. Okay, good. Now do that three more times." I did and Shawn nodded his head and told me that that was good. Doing all of this calmed me down and my crying stopped.

"I'm so sorry that you came home to surprise me and found me like this Shawn. I'm so sorry." I said, looking down. Shawn put his index finger underneath my chin and lightly lifted my head up so I was looking into his comforting caramel eyes.

"It's okay baby girl. I'm glad that you're calmer now. Do you know what brought this on?" Shawn asked. I paused for a moment before nodding my head slowly.

"Yes." I said.

"What brought this on?" He asked. I didn't want to tell him. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I shook my head no.

"It was nothing. Don't worry about it." I said. Now it was Shawn's turn to shake his head no.

"No, I'm going to worry about it. I'm your boyfriend, this is what I'm here for, to love you, protect you, and be your best friend. That's why you're here for me, right?" Shawn asked. I nodded my head yes.

"Of course." I said.

"Then tell me what brought this on." Shawn said.

"You're going to leave me." I said. Shawn looked confused.

"What are you talking about baby?" He asked.

"You're going to find someone better than me and they're going to be everything I'm not so you're going to stop loving me and leave me." I said. Shawn looked pained.

"Oh honey, that's never going to happen. Never. No one gets better than you. I could never stop loving you and I could never leave you. I love you too much to leave you." Shawn said.