Bungo stray dogs One Shots

Fyogol - Sacrifices

Sacrifices were necessary. They were usual and something to preserve peace. Sacrifices were meant to hurt. For keeping the balance of saving something, something of equal value has to be lost. It's an equivalent exchange. The law of nature. To obtain something you have to lose something. It's a fair price.

If you want to preserve peace in a relationship you have to give up parts from your own opinion to gain other parts. It's about finding the perfect compromise that has an equivalent loss for both sides. In the normal situation sacrifices are made within equality even though humans still didn't achieve the perfect equality yet. They still harbor about little things like who is allowed to marry or how biological features determine your worth.

In Fyodor's opinion this was an ridiculous opinion. Nothing about your attraction or your religion or your biological features determines your worth. It was the personality, the mind, the greatness. If you were put into an emergency situation and had to choose nothing but your mind would matter. Your skills. Human lives are worthless if they have no skills but not due to that. Fyodor found this categorizing always stupid and amusing seeing how they threw away potential due to their own stupidity. They were truly insignificant stupid worms. Nothing more than insects with their small minds. Truly he was grateful for having such god-like intellect to overcome the borders of the human society!

Sacrifices could also be made in battle. This time it was not an equal exchange for all. It was about sacrificing for the greater good. Depending on the outcome many lives had to be sacrificed. Such in war to gain territory you had to sacrifice a part of your population. You sacrifice your people for peace.

A Sacrifice in battle is more tragic. It shows the greater good and the strong dedication. It is about worth of ones life and dedicating ones life to others. It is ultimate kindness and hope. This loss of ones self for the preservation of others it seen as something heroic. Something to live up for years. Even though Fyodor wouldn't sacrifice himself for lowly beings.

And the last sacrifices were those for a god. It was simply to entertain a supreme being. Something you could not defeat and only worship. Something out of your reach you could only show worth by offering the most precious thing you had: your own life.

A god was something greater than humans. Unchained by the forms of existence like appearance and biological urges. A god was capable of everything and the only being that could make a judgement. A god was acting for a greater cause that was not to be perceived by humans. Something humans can only admire.

Yes, Fyodor was unchained by these forms of existence. He was a true god that acted for the greater good. Those animals weren't aware of the state they were living in. It was time to cleanse the filthy. Time to get rid of the angels. Time to became aware of the greater good and admire the god in front of them.

Fyodor was unchained by emotions, was acting for the greater good. The sacrifice given to him was sufficient for his plan. It was sufficient for his greater good. It was a perfect sacrifice with great skills.

It was a necessary sacrifice. Nikolai had to die. It was for the perfect plan he had planned out. It was necessary. A small sacrifice. The man cut in half. Dead. Never coming back alive. He would never annoy Fyodor with his stupid jokes again. He would never joke about Fyodor playing the cello and then just join in with a kazoo.

Fyodor felt his heart ache. Even though he should be unchained by the world of the living, by emotions... Thinking about Nikolai's death as something small made him go mad. This man gave his life to complete the perfect plan. He sacrificed the most precious thing he had to fulfill the most critical and important role in the plan.

Nikolai was an idiot. He wouldn't stop quoting vines or do stupid tricks with his cloaks. He would sometimes just get out small rat plushies and laugh. Nevertheless he saw the importance of the greater good. He saw his crucial role and accepted it. He saw that this was the only way to stop the agency from moving. That Fyodor was chained by taking on the most remarkable of the agency: Dazai.

So Nikolai wasn't a simple sacrifice made by humans to a god. He sacrificed himself. He died in battle. A heroic sacrifice. He dedicated himself and never gave up. He lost his life for his comrades in order to achieve world peace.

Nikolai gave his wonderful life and personality for this. He wanted the plan to succeed. He wanted for Fyodor to succeed. And he wasn't wavering until his last breath. He was only cut in half in a physical sense.

It was truly terrifying how hopeless dedicating humans were. Their lives were the most precious things given to them. Yet they were willing to sacrifice this for the right cause. They were willing to never laugh again. To never joke again. To never laugh again. To never breath again.

Nikolai lost his beautiful laugh. He would always laugh a lot with the decay of angles. He was the mad sunshine that would try to have a funny atmosphere wherever he went. He would joke with stupid things. He would try to pay with monopoly money in Sigma's casino. He would try to pull out a uno reverse card when losing in poker.

There were times he was serious as well. He tried to ignore them and joke around. Yet sometimes he would just silently talk about his thoughts and worries with Fyodor. And Fyodor would hear him out silently. He would listen to Nikolai's thoughts carefully. Fyodor enjoyed these conversations. He enjoyed the different opinion. The differing side of Nikolai. The sudden seriousness and sadness. Something different, more meaningful than happiness.

And now it was lost.

Fyodor had lost these talks. Fyodor had lost the laugh of the clown. Had lost his jokes that before only annoyed him. Now he only missed them. Missed everything that had become so normal for him.

Now he only sat alone in a cell. In front of him the biggest problem: Dazai Osamu. In front of him the greater cause. The one Nikolai gave his life for. It was a matter of succeeding to not waste all the efforts. To not make the death of this important person in his life meaningless.

The sacrifice was necessary but never would Fyodor have thought that it would hurt that much. Never would he have imagined that his heart would start aching. Never would he have thought that Nikolai had wrapped him around his finger. Stole his heart with his cloak. What a significant outcome for a god to fall for a human...

But what has been done cannot be reversed. There were only a few people who could control time. And now the only thing to do was to move forward. Moving on and not giving up. It was important to remind yourself that you cannot change what has been lost. There was no way that Nikolai was still alive. Fyodor wouldn't even dare to hope for such a false assumption. That would mean that he miscalculated. That his perfect plan could have been even better, without a sacrifice.

Maybe Nikolai's death wasn't only heroic. Maybe it was an everyday occurrence. An occurrence of equality. Nikolai lost his life and therefore Fyodor had to keep on living. Had to keep going with that aching in his chest. It was an equivalent exchange. It was as if you lose your own life if an important person is lost.

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Another Monologue of Fyodor! Hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it was very unusual :) I'm unsure whether it's good or not but whatever. It was fun writing in Fyodors perspective even though it felt really weird with his god complex and all XDDD