Bungo stray dogs One Shots

Fyogol - Be serious

Silver hair was reflecting the sunshine around the whole room. It covered most of the walls tinting them in a golden tone. Nikolai couldn't help but smile at the sight of it. Beautiful. Not as beautiful as his lover though.

His head was placed on the other ones lap. For 2 hours. He kinda got hungry, but oh no he wouldn't dare to move! Nobody could even think about how long he tried to convince Fyodor to let his boyfriends head lay on his lap! He gave in after a couple of hours since the clown could be quite persistent...

Anyway he did it! And Fyodor seemed to enjoy it too, the silence. After all with his God-complex he wouldn't want to be an "inferior tool" like a pillow. But oh boy imagine how many people couldn't sleep if pillows would disappear! However, Fyodor smacked Nikolais back of the head when he said that argument, what a weird fellow. After all he was speaking the truth!

Fyodor was reading a book. A story about humans and their inferiority was what he said. Bored as he was he looked around the room. No it literally took him five minutes sitting and he was bored. Being with Dos-kun made these five minutes last longer but he was at his limit. Nothing brutal like homicide. His inner child, and idiot, needed to come out again. Needed something to do. Nothing brutal but stupid. It was that feeling you get when the cup song plays and the only thing in front of you is a giant mug of water. Oh boy did Fyodor scold him for that one...

His eyes landed on a piece of paper. A very interesting piece of paper. Something that could change the whole perception of time because it was ... "WEDNESDAY MY DUDES", Nikolai screamed at the top of his lungs. To top that of course he let out the most inhuman screech sounding like a velociraptor spotting it's prey.

"NIKOLAI FOR MY SAKE! STOP THAT!", his black haired boyfriend rubbed his temples "If I would have been older like that stone aged boss of the detective agency then I would have gotten a heart attack!"

Nikolai sheepishly smiled: "I always get a heart attack when I see you, my love".

The black haired rat sighed: "That's not the poin-"

"ThAt'S mY oPiNiOn!", Nikolai screamed and then chuckled like an idiot.

Fyodor sighed again. It probably made no sense to argue more. That clown was an idiot not letting go of these inferior and so called "funny" human sentences. He would never stop to quote until he had reached the afterlife. Who knows he wasn't as twisted as Fyodor maybe at least one half would go to heaven. Let's see who gets the worse half with the mouth non stop rambling.

Despite always acting like that the rat actually enjoyed the stupidness of his boyfriend. Not that it made him feel inferior but he loved to watch Nikolai talking and doing what he liked, free like a bird. Therefore he couldn't really be angry at the man in his lap who was still smiling and humming. Once again he picked up on the passage of the book he had started holding it over the silver haired mans face. It was too distracting after all.

For a small time everything returned to the silence from before. Just him, the book and the warmth of his lover. But Nikolai had other plans...

"...is there anything better than pussy? YES, a really good BOOK", he hummed. At this time Fyodor really hoped that this was another one of these "vine" thingies otherwise he would have doubted Nikolais sanity even more...

As he slowly looked over his book onto his lovers face he could see him smile and enjoy the golden rays of light touching his face acting as if he hadn't said anything weird... Fyodor blinked a few times. Maybe it was his imagination. Afterall it could have been something weird Nikolai could have said. So he chose to ignore it.

"Psst, honey!", Nikolai whispered. Fyodor turned to the next page. "Loooove~", he whined. Fyodor rolled his eyes even though he enjoyed the attention his lover paid to him. After all you should pay attention to a god. Nikolai had realized that he now had his lovers attention: "We are partners in crime, right? Does that mean that I have the power of god and anime on my side?".

"And who's "Anime" then?".

"Meee cause I'm ya anime booooiii", Nikolai stretched his limbs. "We're just the perfect pair", his before cute smile that looked like a cat enjoying the sun turned into a smirk.

Nikolai could be really sweet. He COULD have been a decent human being. He understood morals and that what he did was wrong. However he had this sadistic side, this longing for freedom that would twist his world view. And the only one that could understand him, the only one he could talk with, was Fyodor. Like duct tape holding his shattered pieces together because who would enjoy being the glue? Like who has the attention span to stick all pieces together? Duct tape was so much better. You could just wrap it around something that was broken and boom it's back to life. Maybe he should use it as a belt...

"I'm hungry", the long haired male whined again.

Fyodor knew how to pick up on that one. Oh how has his boyfriend annoyed him with that one and now it's payback. "Hi hungry", he turned to the next page. Usually he did no jokes, he was a serious god. However if he could pay back all the times Nikolai had said this then you could count him in.

A creepy smile crept on his mouth. Well, it was the usual one. Only if he contained himself he could smile "normally". If he laughed or smiled genuinely it was creepy for others. Though Nikolai, the one and only idiot, thought it was cute. He would probably say that fish eyes look cute too...

Nikolai on the other side was having a gay panic. The cute smile again! Sigma always said this was subjective while looking worried for the man in the cloak but Nikolai couldn't understand why. It was just too cute to see Fyodor smile genuinely, his mouth slightly moving up, eyes open, come on what was so psycho killer about that one? Wasn't Sigma the subjective one???

"Oh my Fyodor!", the clown gasped out "We are roommates!"

"We are lovers living together, please tell me how twisted is your imagination of lovers?", Fyodor was concerned now. He knew that some people thought of their worldview as twisted but they had the same basis as those foolish humans... Maybe Nikolai didn't even had the same basis... Hopefully it was an meme again. Maybe he should gain knowledge on that trend too. He could convince young humans easier this way...

Nikolai sat up. Yes sat up while Fyodor still held his book. Therefore he pulled it out of Fyodors hands in the process while facing his lover.

"Shall we get something to eat? Should I get something?"

Fyodor sighed again. He was indeed feeling a bit hungry so he allowed it this time.

"Toast? Rice? Curry? Noodles? Cereals ? What do you want?", Golgol asked while he got up and snatching the hand of his lover.

"If you put some lemons in the cereals again, then you are going to regret it Golgol", Fyodor threatened.

"Uhm... Curry it is!", the clown exclaimed dragging his boyfriend with him. Good thing he could get rid of the lemons with his cloak...

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Yup I got this one done as well only like a year later, I'm so sorry ;-;

Anyway it was fun writing this so I hope y'all liked it. Thank you for requesting  uwu

I gotta go onto the next one òwó