Bungo stray dogs One Shots

Ranpoe - Trash Panda

"Kaaaaarl~" the short detective hummed "What did you do Kaaaarl~?".

He was looking for the racoon for an hour and he hasn't found him yet. He had a particular reason for searching him: He ate all his sweets.

And while the small detective was angry at the trash panda eating his food Poe was only concerned for the racoons wellbeing. So that was the story how the two of them were searching for the culprit together. Poe even asked Yosano if Karl would be alright.

"I'm a human doctor. Some people are trash and look like a panda but that doesn't mean that they ARE a trash panda", was her answer. Reasonable in Ranpos opinion. Plus he wouldn't want Yosano to take care of Karl. He wouldn't want anybody to be taken care with this kind of torture not even if this person (or racoon) ate his sweets. That was just cruel.

Even though it seemed like animals were less affected. Or the white tiger was a masochist since he got hurt on every single mission. At some point Dazai and Yosano started making fun of his self-destructive behavior giving each other "a hand". This humor was a bit too cruel for Ranpos taste.

"KAAAARL~", Ranpo shouted again. Why was Poes house so god damn big. He was a billionaire that could ear a few millions in less than a day how the hell did he felt so inferior to Ranpo? The greatest mystery Ranpo had to solve.

The whole Rival thing was more annoying to Ranpo than interesting. If your crush thought you were making fun of him when you say that you like him you would get frustrated too. So it took him a while to convey his feelings. Even now his boyfriend would still favor the trash panda over him. Ranpo felt like screaming.

When he whined about it to the other members Dazai only said: "At least it's not a hat". Ranpo would have pitied him but he knew that Dazai was an not the nicest person to his boyfriend either.

"Kaaarl~ how would you feel if I just ate your food?", he hummed more to himself. He felt like it was the third time that he went through the same corridor. Either all corridors looked kind of the same or Ranpos lack of orientation was the cause of this. But since he was searching for so long the detective didn't care about the cause anymore.

"I'm literally going to die here because I got lost".

Long story short he just went into the next room he saw and sat down on the couch. Man searching was exhausting. Plus he had been taking care of a case since the early morning. He even had to run after a criminal with his terrible constitution. Ranpo detested running.

He also had no idea where he was. He was completely lost. In a house. The house of his boyfriend. And he also learned from Kunikida that he should stay where he was when he got lost. And he got lost a lot at work. So he waited a lot at work.

There was not much to do. A few books but they were easy to deduce just by looking at the cover. That was why Ranpo favored Poes mystery novels. But he couldn't find one in the shelf. So after organizing them whether the murderer was the lover, gardener, butler or whatever he got tired and curled himself up to sleep on the couch.

He woke up by hearing a small crunching next to his ear.

As he opened his eyes he saw the searched culprit. The racoon sat right in front of his face while stuffing a potato chip in his cheeks. He just took a potato chip and ate it.

"You don't seem so ill to me. I knew it sweets are good for everyone", the detective hummed groggily.

He was so sleepy he didn't even care that this little two faced prick ate all his sweets. So he just petted his head and felt his palm go through his smooth fur. How can a trash panda have such soft hair?

"So are you lost too?", he asked even though he always made fun when Poe was talking with his racoon. "Yeah, same. How is this house so god damn big?", he questioned. It was like the Tardis.

While petting the fury thief he drifted off to sleep again.

The next time he woke up it wasn't Karl eating a potato chip in front of him. It was more like a click noise. The clicking voice came from a technical device. A phone. It was the noise that always appeared when you made a photo and forgot to turn down the volume.

His boyfriend always forgot to turn down the volume since he didn't take much photos and was even surprised at his own ringtone. What a dork. So Ranpo knew exactly who snapped a photo of him right now.

And his deduction was right. Infront of him stood his boyfriend getting scared by the sudden tone and almost dropping his phone. He then proceeded by standing there embarrassed.

"S-s-so-sorry..." he squeaked being so adorable that Ranpo couldn't even be the slightest bit angry at him.

"Y-y-y-you and Karl just l-l-l-looked so cute so I h-h-had to take a p-p-picture...", he quietly explained himself.

Ranpo looked down to his chest. The little racoon slept there like he was a peaceful angle. "First you eat my food and now you use me as a pillow. I see that's my worth", the small detective sighed and plopped his head back on the couch in defeat.

Poe just chuckled. And sat down on the couch too grabbing a book from the lovers section. The detective was about to comment on his pick but was silenced by Poe shutting up with a hand over Ranpos mouth.

"Your trash Panda is using me as a pillow and you shut me up. What am I even worth to you? I should just leave if this house wouldn't be a Tardis", pouted the smaller male. He heaved his body a bit farther and then plopped his head on the legs of his boyfriend. "Toucan play this game", he sheepishly grinned.

Poe chuckled at the bad joke while blushing. His boyfriend was very spoiled and actively doing all the couple stuff. Poe didn't even had the courage to take his hand. When they were alone. Watching a movie. Poe didn't thought he was attractive neither did he have a good character. Being shy and social anxious isn't something you would call lovely, right? So for him it was a mystery why the great detective he had admired and envied would choose him.

"You're thinking something stupid again". The former guild member was dragged out of his thoughts. He looked confused at his smaller boyfriend.

"You're thinking you're not worth it or something", Ranpo continued talking as if it was the most normal thing "I mean I am a very good catch after all". Poe chuckled at his narcissistic behavior.

"But I'm also a brat. I'm lazy. I have the smarts but I use them for selfish reasons like praise. I have like no orientation even getting lost in my boyfriends house. I have the tendency to make things worse and I love quoting memes. I have a sweet tooth and will probably die from diabetes and not due to my dangerous work. You're hard working and dedicated to your talents. You are smart. You are a detective, guild member, writer and famous architect. You are shy and considerate of others always thinking about their opinion. You are easy to talk to and spoil me even if I'm just a brat. If someone didn't deserve his partner it would be me. But I'm selfish so whatever", he shrugged confessing as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

His bigger boyfriend on the other hand blushed seriously. Who knows if the detective saw this through his closed eyes. Though Poe knew that he noticed that he was on the same page he was an hour ago.

That was another part of his small boyfriend. He would just say what he thought. And that was not good for the taller man's heart.

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And it's the second Ranpoe oneshot. Hoped you liked it :D

By the way thank you again to everyone for commenting and voting I really appreciate it :D

So let's go and finish this so y'all can read it in quarantine...