Bungo stray dogs One Shots

Soukoku - The extraordinary ideas of Dazai Osamu

„Oh come on chibi! Pleaseee!~", the brunette pleaded with a sweet look on his face. Though this was more for show as the other one had his back faced to him right now. Aw shucks.

"NO", Chuuya insisted and glared at the wall. He wouldn't give in no matter what. This had been the last straw!

"Pleaseee! Just once! I can show you that I-", Dazai began but was cut off almost immediately.

"I said no you waste of bandages!", the red-haired male glared. He had no time and no nerves left for this lover of his!

After all who would have had even one more to spare after all THIS? He had enough! Too much was too much and Dazai sure gave everything to finally reach that point...

All Chuuya wanted was a nice date. Maybe go eating somewhere together. It didn't have to be fancy, just Ramen was enough as well. He just wanted to spend some time together laughing. Or maybe a movie date! Then they wouldn't have to talk and argue but maybe cuddle a bit... Though he would NEVER say that to that waste of bandages!

However, Dazai's ideas of how a date should look like were just... different. And not in the 'Let's go solve a crime together'-different that Poe and Ranpo had going on. Or the 'Let's go to the supermarket together when there's a sale'-different that Atsushi and Aku had.

No, it was by no means anywhere near... anywhere near doing something nice together. There was no romance, no feelings, no cuddles, no holding hands. Those 'dates' were mostly only filled with stupidity and brutality.

Not that Chuuya absolutely hated that but once in a while he also wanted to do something... something that would be considered romantic. Something like holding hands or leaning on the others shoulder. To show each other that you appreciated the other. That you felt comfortable in their presence despite always complaining. That you could finally relax after a long day at work.

It was just too much at times, you know? Like when they once sneaked into a mansion of some super rich dude with the shittiest and cheapest maid costumes they could find online. It worked but it was a bit much to do right after work.

Or when Dazai decided it would be funny to invite Ranpo and Yosano. So, the trouble gang did their shit and Chuuya felt annoyed. He wasn't really fond of that cocky detective and the waste of bandages together after all. Not out of jealousy but because they were purely stupid, destructive and cocky.

And then there was the fighting pit date. A date where Chuuya just punched a few guys and won a tournament. Meanwhile Dazai had some job to finish and arrested someone that he still had to take care of. So it wasn't as much of a date but a convenience, a tool Dazai used to finish some of his jobs (or carving for bullshit).

Oh and he forgot the worst part: They all ended with double suicide. Every last one. Planned to the core. It got on Chuuya's nerves so much...

"But you enjoyed the fighting pit!," Dazai continued to plead.

"OF COURSE! But that's not the point! I'm beating up enough people at work!", Chuuya growled and furrowed his brow. Oh, he was so very done with that waste of a boyfriend that was hanging right there!

"Chibi my love", Dazai had turned enough to face his lovers side now, "I just want to make you happy! To give you a wonderful time and see you smile!". What a calculative move. But Chuuya had already learned that words were Dazai's weapon and that wouldn't give in to any bullshit that came out of the other one's mouth.

"OH COME ON THE ONLY PLUS SIDE IS THAT WE'RE ABOUT THE SAME HEIGHT NOW!", Chuuya screamed at the man. Would there even be a time when he would have believed him?

Clearly not right now in this situation! Not when they were both hanging upside down from the ceiling. Captured by a terrorist organization that 'Dazai didn't know was there' and then put into a different room from the other hostages after arguing too much. And that all after Chuuya thought this would be a normal date at the mall! He was practically brimming with happiness at work and now that?!

"Our heads but your feet only reach my chest like they usually do", Dazai joked with a grin. Oh, how much Chuuya wanted to punch him right now...

"And how does THIS make me happy?! Can you tell me how punching a terrorist organization and helping you with your job that you didn't finish would make me happy?!"

"Uhm... justice maybe?", Dazai smiled sheepishly and slightly tilted his head.

"I AM IN SOME KIND OF TERRORIST ORGANIZATION"

"Sheesh no need to scream at me~ I'm hurt~", Dazai fake sniffed and blinked a few times as to exaggerate tears. Maybe Chuuya should just push him off a cliff once all of this was done...

Suddenly the door got slammed open. In it stood a man as tall as a tree. He had a grim look on his face and was carrying a bat spiked with nails. "WHAT ARE YOU SCREAMING ABOUT?", he shouted with a low and roaring voice.

"Stay out of this", Dazai glared at the one disturbing the time he spent with his lover. He did not really want that others saw that cute side of Chuuya when he was absolutely pissed. Actually, he would just prefer it if no one saw his cute and beautiful lover after all.

"Oh no! Let us get an outsider perspective on this one right now!"

"I SAID SHUT UP YOU-", the man started again and raised his bat.

Chuuya only looked at him with a determined glare: "Would you say that a 'date' at a fighting pit is a good date?!"

"Uhm...", The man stopped, obviously a bit taken back by such a random question.

"TELL ME WOULD YOU ENJOY TO GO ON A DATE WHERE YOUR PARTNER ONLY FINISHES HIS WORK AND YOU JUST PUNCH AND BLOOD AND UGH!", Chuuya complained, now louder and more pissed than before.

"N-no that's horrible", the man stuttered and awkwardly lowered his bat. He was a bit confused at this questioning without a care in the world.

"Oh, come on chibi! Why are you dragging stupid outsiders in the argument now!," Dazai glared at the man. Now he was also quite annoyed.

The man in front of them spat on the ground and took up his bat again. Oh, now he was pissed! "You're so bad at planning a date and now you think you can ignore me just because I'm the bad guy?! Oh, this problem is on you!".

"YEAH, TELL HIM", Chuuya cheered which annoyed Dazai even more. Maybe he should just break free and take care of that guy who sided with HIS lover...

"HOW THE HELL ARE YOU STILL TOGETHER WITH HIM?! YOU SHOuld-", the man got caught up in the feeling but was punched directly into the stomach. Not by Dazai but by a colleague of his.

"Are you too stupid to do your job or what?!", the one who just arrived said and glared at the man who was now crouching next to him. Which was actually enough time for Chuuya and Dazai to take care of the rope and punch that guy down as well.

"After this bullshit I'M going to be the one taking care of the rest of this fucked up date!", Chuuya glared at his lover. Dazai should just be happy that Chuuya did not leave him immediately!

"But I still got so much planned! What about the-", Dazai started but was cut off by a glare. He pouted but then nodded a little: "Alright chibi, if that's what you want...".

Chuuya only nodded and then started jogging down the halls to take care of all the organization members. Dazai watched as the small man disappeared within a few seconds. Not hard though with that little body of his.

"Alrighty!~ Whom of you sided with my lover again and who wanted to hit him?~", Dazai hummed and looked at the two man laying on the ground. He was grinning but his eyes were cold.

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Yeah I hope you liked this one. I wrote it TWICE because damn my laptop kinda made a reset and now that... I hate my lifeeee... Anyway kinda like it now but I'm still kind of out of the flow :3 Anyway just wanted to say that S4 is amazing and is it just me or did they all get a little bit hotter??? I'm so confused honestly but the animation is so beautiful I'm crying... And young Oda... And-