Bungo stray dogs One Shots

Soukoku - Loneliness

„Hey Hat Rack". The brunette came into the room while plopping himself onto a comfy chair. "Whaddup?". As always he didn't receive an answer and sighted while getting even more comfy and almost falling onto the ground.

"Oi Slug", the brunette continued "Guess what? My suicide didn't succeed again! When I jumped off the bridge I was like 'this is going to be it'... and then I tangled myself up in a fishing net." A sigh followed. Dazai adjusted his position a bit so that his head was now upside down. He could almost feel the small orange haired man being angry.

A chuckling escaped the brunettes mouth and he let his arms fall to the ground. He took out his phone and started playing some flappy bird while not screaming or anything. He was truly evil. While playing he hummed a bit.

After some while Dazai continued: "I met Odasaku today." Another sigh escaped his mouth when he thought about this. "The usual, you know?". It became kind of a habit of the older red haired male to tell Dazai everything about his boyfriend.

Dazai on the other side couldn't understand. His boyfriend looked like a panda. For Odasaku it was a miracle when Ango went to bed but for Dazai it was boring. Moreover did he try to kill his own boyfriend?! How weird was Odasakus taste in men please? Ango and Gide? He could have had better in Dazais opinion. But every time he tried to convince him Odasaku just got angry. Maybe because Dazai was talking about the men that tried to kill him and killed his children. Or because Dazai was disrespecting and insulting his boyfriend while suggesting to Odasaku to break up with his oh so cute boyfriend.

The brunette shrugged again which looked kind of amusing since he was still upside down. "Chibiiii why won't you talk with meee~?" he hummed. "You are so unfair... even Kunikida talks with me... Okay I may force him but is there a difference?".

The brunette suddenly bounced up. "OHHHHH" he screamed out while his eyes were shining. "I forgot to tell you about the gang! You know, me, Ranpo, Yosano: The gang!" The excitement was at its peak while Dazai made his rounds though the room.

"Today we snorted some sherbet powder! You know like cocaine? It was nuts." He couldn't stop laughing remembering the great detective laying on the ground while screaming. Him and the doctor did better but it was a VERY weird feeling.

Kunikida on the other hand wasn't very amused. The long haired mother of the detective Agency punished the three for not doing their work while Atsushi was the perfect impression of the Pikachu meme.

So naturally the three of them continued by Fortnite dancing through the streets while being on the way to a crime scene. Kunikida was devasted. It was best. The two sadists of the trio couldn't stop. They were hard to beat anyway. The detective on the other hand just had the smarts. He couldn't even hold a gun with his noodles arms. Not to mention how fine Kunikida looked.

However sacrificing Ranpo for some sadistic fun was worth is . he f would definitely be amused hearing about the failures of Ranpo. He was still kind of stuck up on the fact that Ranpo beat him once while even being cocky and mentioning Dazai. The whole incident was amusing however the brunette felt a bit jealous.

"We sacrificed Ranpo". It was as if he could hear a slight chuckle from the other side of the room. "Worth it though. We just loaded all the wrath of the mother onto him. His fault for doing it with us".

"Sluuuug~ answer meeee~" he hummed again. "If you don't answer I might as well die of murder!" he claimed "I will die of loneliness and you were the one causing it!". He pointed his finger at the direction of the short male while straightening his bowtie and glasses.

"Atsushi has plans with his boyfriend, isn't that rude? The two of them enjoy themselves without me..." Though the brunette had to admit that he wasn't always the nicest person to Akutagawa since the beginning. Why was everyone so stuck up on this theme. He just showed him reality of this bad world! Even Atsushi was taking his boyfriends side. "What a fake bitch" he pouted knowing that he was spouting nonsense.

"Mori is always busy and you can't have some great fun with my chef aka mister poker face. I literally never saw him smile! You know how long it took me to figure out his moods?!" Dazai let himself dramatically fall onto the chair while deeply sighing.

After a short pause his thoughts drifted off. Mostly about suicide. He could try stealing Elise cake... but it would probably be painful so he brushed the idea off. "Should I anger Koyo...?" he said more to himself than to Chuuya. He looked to the shorter male. "Nah that would be painful and murder again...".

Death was fascinating to Dazai. It was the one thing no one could describe and no one knew about. It was something that would get you eventually, no one lived forever. Death was undiscovered and exciting. When he was younger he was genuinely obsessed with death.

His obsession stopped when he met Chuuya. Chuuya was so different than all the other boring people. You couldn't predict him. Mostly because he didn't really grew up in society. Some social norms were weird and for him without logic. He had no idea of personal space around the people he knew. A big trigger for the brunettes jealousy. Not that he would mind having an excuse being a bit more rough.

His obsession stopped when he met Chuuya since it gave him another mystery of mankind. Love. Him and Mori thought it was only a chemical in the body called dopamine or something. Though after meeting the shorter male he realized it wasn't. There was no reasonable trigger that made his heart race when seeing the red haired male smile. There was no reasonable trigger when he felt this overwhelming happiness whenever the red haired male was angry at him for trying to commit suicide.

Sometimes he wished more he wouldn't succeed so that his boyfriend could get angry at him while explaining that he shouldn't die yet. Dazai wouldn't normally get love confessions from the short Tsundere so he wasn't picky about it. And Chuuya trying to explain with a blushing face that he didn't want him to die was still the best. Also for his sadistic side.

But lately the short male didn't react to him exclaiming how he tried to commit suicide. His façade dropped a bit with a sigh. He clenched his hands into fists. "Chibi? Why won't you talk with me?"

Before he could do anything stupid his phone started ringing. The ringtone was from the song "dumb ways to die". Chuuya put it in there thinking it was a funny prank. The brunette hasn't changed it since then.

He took some deep breaths, regaining his facade. "Ku-ni-ki-daaa~" He hummed into the phone. He was welcomed with a scream: "Dazai where are you?! I told you we have a conference in 10 minutes! You better hurry and be punctual or you are going to die of murder and not suicide!". Kunikida then proceeded with hanging up the phone call.

"I don't wanna go to work slug" the brunette whined. "Won't you commit double suicide with me?"

A long silence followed.

"Of course you wouldn't. You are really unfair Chibi. Why am only I not allowed to commit suicide?"

A heart felt sigh escaped his lips as he went to the door and opening it. He looked back at the shorter male in the bed. The machines were still beeping. It was as if time was frozen. There was no way he could have reacted to the brunettes stories. Why did he leave him? It should have been the other ways around.

He quickly turned around and placed a peck on the shorter males forehead while whispering "please come back...".

He then left the hospital room.

________________________________________________________________________________

So yeah I'm back. And this time a new ship. I hope the story was okay, I thought I would try a bit of angst. And it's Pride month! (I'm slow I know).

You know what that means? More stories! I'm gonna do 1 story for each ship I have in bungo stray dogs! Plus I made a new cover cause the other one was... let's not talk about that...

But before we continue I want to thank everyone for reading and commenting. I enjoy reading the comments so much :D

Let's go go Dateko!