Bungo stray dogs One Shots

Koyo x Yosano - Fuck, marry, kill

"I'm bored honey~", Yosano purred while she looked up at Koyo. She was currently laying on the lap of her wonderful, beautiful, and perfect wife. It was the perfect situation in some sense but after a few hours, she couldn't help but feel a little... bored.

"Hmmm? Then what do you propose, love of my life~", Koyo answered and focused back on Yosano's face. All this time she had been curling her wife's black hair slightly between her fingers. At times she even braided it a little bit, so now Yosano's hair was some sort of a braided mess. It was so adorable, Koyo would kill anyone who would dare to look at this sight.

Yosano thought for a minute. What to do? She didn't feel like moving especially not if she could lay on her wife. And she didn't feel like doing anything else with her wife either. So what could be done about that...?

"I have an idea! I had played that game a while ago with my colleagues: Fuck, marry, kill! You just count three people and the other one has to decide whom to put in which category", Yosano exclaimed. Not the best idea with two extremely possessive women to play but it was the best thing that came to her mind.

"Alright~ Then I'm just starting to see how this works~", Koyo nodded and took another strand of hair to braid, "let's just say... Ranpo, Kunikida, and Dazai".

That was a tough one. Yosano furrowed her brow a little. Whom to take for what... It took a little bit until she could answer.

"Fuck Kunikida, kill Ranpo and marry Dazai", she nodded. It was the best combination she could think of.

"And why dear?~ Is there another reason I should kill Dazai except for him trying to woo my son?~", Koyo chuckled but her eyes were filled with malicious intent.

"Well living together with Ranpo would be a pain. I don't understand how Poe can go through with this all day with no break in between. I personally need my wife's break~", Yosano chuckled and tucked one of Koyo's hair strands behind her ear. "Still I'm thankful for him saving me but if Kunikida would be missing then the whole agency would collapse. And marrying Dazai is the obvious choice".

"And why is that?~"

"Because with him killing himself I don't have to go through annoying divorce papers and finally marry you again my queen", Yosano exclaimed and carefully took one of Koyo's hands to kiss it.

"That's so lovely of you! I was about to turn Dazai's suicide into a homicide~", Koyo chuckled. She really would kill anyone who got in between her and her wife. No exclusions were made. Anyone should suffer as she had finally found her happiness. So if that should be once again destroyed then she would just destroy the world.

"Then now it's my turn to fill my kill list a bit more~ How about...", Yosano thought for a second, "Poe, Dazai, and that disgusting chef of yours~".

"Marry Poe, kill Dazai, and fuck Mori", Koyo answered without even thinking about it.

Yosano gasped. How come her wife had been this quick? Could it be that she had to threaten Poe a little bit more? "Darling, how come you're so quick to decide?".

"It's simple reasoning my love, light of my life! I will always kill Dazai, that is simply understandable", Koyo declared her plan for a murder she always had in her head. It had become a habit for her after Chuuya always seemed so sad and broken when Dazai tried to take his own life. So if that would end Chuuya's suffering then she was ready.

"And why Poe? Do I have to get rid of a pest?", Yosano pouted and looked into her wife's magnificent eyes. She wished that they would only focus on her all day long...

"As for marrying Poe: I can become a rich widow through that and then coincidentally get together with you. After all, it's easier for Poe to have an 'accident' happening than to make it happen to Mori. Not to mention that this rational boss of mine would NEVER link sex with any sort of feeling. For him his body is just a tool he can use as well...", Koyo sighed while she laid her plans bare.

Yosano smiled. In her mind, she scratched Poe's name again from her kill list. He could be spared now after hearing that wonderful explanation.

"This is really not a good game for my kill list~ I just have to add and scratch names all the time honey! How can I now work through it productively?", Koyo sighed. She had finished another braid and picked another strand of hair to form into some beautiful braids. She would love to do a more complicated hairstyle and braid but Yosano's hair was just too short.

Still, it looked so smooth and wonderful that going through it at least once a day had become somewhat of a ritual for Koyo. It was like her good luck charm in the morning. It was as if she felt drained whenever she had such a busy week that they saw each other very rarely.

If anyone else dared to touch even just her wife's hair then she would cut off their hand! The exception was Fukuzawa. That man just confused people who were close to him too much with cats. Or at least that was what Koyo slowly started to think when Yosano told her about her boss's weird behavior.

"But unlike you, I have no talent in braiding nor am I in the correct position right now to braid your hair. I want to do at least something to occupy my mind so I'm not absolutely overwhelmed with your beauty~", the doctor complained.

Koyo only chuckled and continued to braid the other one's hair. It was the best part of her day right now so she wouldn't stop cuddling with her wife and braiding her hair. Not even if the love of her life was bored.

"I mean I could write a passionate letter about your beauty! I could write a poem only about your eyes. Compose a melody and create a painting that would not even come close to the truth!"

"Oh, honey. That would be so lovely!", Koyo smiled. Just hearing that someone loved her was a confidence boost. She had never once loved that person that had grown up in the darkness. So whenever her wife told her how much she loved Koyo, her whole world stopped. Not only giving but also receiving love? It was a bliss!

Yosano smiled. She always loved to give her wife all the love she deserved. She had so many emotions inside her that it was easy to voice them! Or more it was easy to voice them directly.

Yeah, it was her small little problem. The doctor was excellent in all the physics and math stuff. But painting, writing, or music? Ew. Everything looked like it was made by a toddler. The words just wouldn't flow out of her hands. The paintings would look even worse than those of a toddler. So she couldn't hold onto the moment anywhere else than in her mind.

Which wasn't a bad thing. Because through that only she had those emotions and knew these moments. It was quite good for her jealous nature after all.

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That didn't seem quite right as well but hey... at least some KoyoxYosano fluff uwu Anyway have a great day I guess! Anything interesting that has happened until now? :3