Bungo stray dogs One Shots

Fukumori - What is eternity?

Emotions are fractions of seconds. They are as fleeting as Dazai's will to live. Emotions cannot be held in place. They cannot be grasped. Writers, artists, and musicians, all come close to describing such a sentiment. To show what they feel. Yet there is still a difference after all.

Especially love is such a difficult emotion to explain. When do you love someone? When is it, romantic love? Can you differentiate that? Expressing love has always been a task for humanity or so it seemed.

Why else would there be hundreds of books about different love affairs and relationships? Why else would people belong to read the same general trope again and again if not for feeling and understanding the love between two individuals?

And even then love was not eternal. Love wasn't a strong mountain that could not be moved by anything. If anything it was more like a statue, a block of marble. Yes, you are an artist that has to craft your kind of love.

Because the way you act will define your emotions. The way your environment is will change them as well. It depends on how and when you will be able to finish a masterpiece.

A sculpture is such a fitting example as it is just as dependent on everything. You can only take something away from a sculpture. It's irreversible. Isn't that crazy? Everything you do and everything others do: It will affect your feelings. It will change you a little bit every time.

Will it refine and smooth the marble? Will it deform a hand or create a perfect one? What about the other body parts? Love - Love is such a complex and demanding emotion after all. It's nothing for those who don't take it seriously.

Not to mention that others can destroy it too, not only the artist. You can smash the heart, break off the head. You can only define the chest with no legs. Every love is different and under different circumstances.

Mori laughed. Has he ever felt such a pure and perfect love? Has he ever created a perfect sculpture? No matter which type of love? Was he a good artist?

Certainly not. He knew that definitely. He was a rationalist. He would not groundlessly trust another. He would not give everything to them. He would destroy the heart of the sculpture.

Then the hands. He wouldn't move, wouldn't protect those he loved if he knew that there was no chance to win. That they both would fail. He wouldn't move if they were in trouble if he knew that his help was unnecessary. That they would survive this matter nevertheless. No sculpture of his would have arms.

They didn't have legs either. It was easier to see people as chess figures like that. Figures he could easily manipulate without feeling guilty. Which would then in Return also destroy the head of the sculpture.

Mori wasn't an artist. He didn't know how to show and describe his feelings. His love? It was in shambles at his feet. After all, he never learned how to love. He never learned that he could do good with his hands. Even when becoming an army doctor he only spread misfortune.

The mafia boss wasn't someone you could love after all. He was broken just as much as his sculptures were. Despite having those he cared for this would remain a fact, but for how long? For eternity?

What is eternity? After all, it is present, yet is not to be grasped. It's an overused concept all couples like to use. Loving someone forever? Isn't that grasped too high? Eternity is too long after all. Eternity is something humans can't achieve. It's a weird concept.

Nothing could be held up forever, not even love. It will change just as a sculpture will become more wonderful or be destroyed. Love wasn't the definition of eternity, no love was its enemy.

A long-loved rival you could say. Loving someone for eternity was something strong and terrifying to promise. Because it meant that you would love someone despite anything else. That you would go through hardships together.

What is eternity you ask? Eternity is change. The change will be there forever and is unstoppable. You will change within seconds due to all the different surroundings. You will change as naturally as you will breathe. Change is affecting all living and nonliving beings. It's eternal even if there is no one left to watch it.

So loving someone for eternity? Loving someone for eternity means that you will love them despite their changes. That you will help them onto the right path. That you will stay even if the sculpture isn't perfect. It's such a powerful promise yet it's used so carelessly...

'Then again after all this time, will I still love you?', Mori asked himself inside his head. He looked at his husband who was sleeping on the bed. His face was completely relaxed.

It was an odd change. Something he wouldn't have imagined a few years ago. Someone loving him? And that someone is his rival? It was a weird change. A weird sculpture, a completely new marble block was formed from the one Mori had tried to deform into dust.

Carefully Mori reached out and went through Fukuzawa's grey hair. It was a bit rough and curly, unlike his silky hair. 'Will this all be the same? What will change do to us my dear?', Mori thought. He almost felt a little bit anxious now...

Mori looked at the other ones so relaxed face that usually looked so tense up. The face that many feared just because of the outer appearance. Bold of them as they didn't know what good and kind man was there. He just didn't greet everybody and everything with a smile.

Slowly Mori snuggled into the other one's chest. He had just come home from work. It had been a case that had occupied him for a few days. He felt tired but his mind seemed to not accept sleep without a fight.

Was it necessary to think about those kinds of things now? He wouldn't address them to anyone yet he felt like the only thing he could do was destroy them. It was what he could do. He destroyed others' lives, destroyed soldiers, and destroyed Yosano. It didn't matter if he meant good with it. The path of destruction behind him didn't leave room for 'good ideas'.

And as Mori was slowly drifting off to sleep he knew his answer to the never-ending fight. He would love Fukuzawa despite everything probably. Or at least he wouldn't be able to love anyone else with this pitch-black heart of his. And how worse could the agency boss change? Mori knew himself, the worst version of all.

As for his lover he wished only for love now. If eternity would claim his whole being into the darkness then he would rather die. He would rather have someone end his life instead of staying just by his side. He would rather kill himself than become like the old boss...

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I dunno about you all but I really loved this chapter ngl! It was so much fun philosophizing and stuff really! Any thoughts you want to say to this? If you didn't like it then whatever at least I had fun writing ùwú (Wow the confidence is really strong in sleep-deprived me lmao)