Bungo stray dogs One Shots

Soukoku

"You know, you're worse than a dog!"

"Well unlike you I like dogs!", Chuuya screamed back.

"Ugh, really Chibi! I'm disappointed!", Dazai dramatically put his hand on his forehead. After all, he always claimed his destiny to be the 'most dramatic' man that had ever existed. Yosano then decided to catch the female title. And the non-binary title... Well Q had less competition until now but was still defending it with their last breath.

"Stop it you mackerel. It's not like I can do anything against this!", Chuuya growled annoyed. He was seriously done with his boyfriend always acting so extra.

"Then how much longer do we have left?", Dazai fake sobbed while hiding his face.

"Idiot. Well, I would say about... 3 minutes? But do we really have to wait?", Chuuya sighed. He was more tired now than angry.

"WELL OBVIOUSLY!", Dazai jumped up and threw his arms in the air. Extra dramatic credit was what Chuuya guessed. "Remember when you didn't want to wait until someone slipped on the banana peel I positioned?! You would have missed such gold!"

"I would have missed almost losing my head. How should I know that you had targeted the boss and he hurt his back really bad by this?!", Chuuya argued. Yet he couldn't hide the smile that was forming on his face. Even though it was a near-death experience it was still SO worth it!

"See? Aren't I a wonderful partner you want to spend the rest of your life with?", Dazai winked and then finger gunned his boyfriend.

"Nothing I had hoped for to be honest", the small red-haired man joked and lit up a cigarette. He then puffed out a little cloud filled with deadly smoke. It was quite calming though so who cared?

"You know how I hate it when you smoke? Kissing someone who smokes is just ew!", the brunette frowned. Still, he too seemed to notice that this was not enough drama to earn a title so he just fakes vomiting for the extra show.

Chuuya on the other hand now felt more amused. "I know. You said that a thousand times when we were like seventeen or something".

"That's not funny! Until now this was really the most annoying and critical prank I played!", Dazai sighed. It was nothing he liked to think back to...

"Nah. Just you suddenly deciding that it is a good fucking idea to kiss Hirotsu for the giggles was just too good. I mean how come we all don't have an idea how personal space works? We're either just all cuddling on one spot or hide so no one can see our true self...".

"Didn't I say to never remind me of that one?!", Dazai cried in agony. He did try to smoke a bit by himself but just that feeling was so bitter he could never get used to it. Everything else was fine though. No matter if it was about grenades or fire smoke. But that bitter nicotine was DISGUSTING. He would never do it for fun or satisfaction. Only for the aesthetics.

"I-I'm sorry to interrupt your special time but you DID WHAT?!", Kunikida looked at his coworker in shock. He was prepared for a lot. After all, Dazai's pranks were always extreme. But this just sounded so absurdly easy and unproblematic...

"Oh, you should have seen Hirotsu's reaction. Never have I ever seen him this angry. Screaming something about him not being the boss and that Dazai should never repeat such a behavior", Chuuya chuckled slightly. Man, he was really tired right now.

"Unfair! How dare you share my deepest secrets Chuuya-chan?! I shall reveal some of yours then too!", Dazai exclaimed.

"Do what you want. Why should I care now you waste of bandages", Chuuya shrugged. It wasn't like he was ABSOLUTELY embarrassed by them. He had enough confidence to take a few blows after all.