Bungo stray dogs One Shots

Soukoku - Pure

"Mori"

"Yes Dazai?", the black-haired mafia boss looked up.

"I think it's hard to understand but nothing in this world is perfect and pure. Nothing", Dazai said while resting his chin on the backrest of the chair.

"Nothing except Elise", Mori added while taking a cloth into his hand to clean them a little bit.

"Not even Elise Mori. Nothing is perfect. Nothing is pure. Just as there will never be the whitest white there will also never be the blackest black. No matter how evil or how good you are, there will always be a little bit of the other within you.

Mori chuckled: "I feel honored that you think I have even the slightest bit of goodwill within me". Mori looked at the cloth in his hands which was now dyed with blood.

"I mean I don't know if there IS something within you but it's like a rule within nature! I mean no one's only happy and has never been sad! The world will always be a mix of things and nothing can be pure! Not pure innocent, not pure happy!", Dazai exclaimed and spun his chair around.

He had been thinking about this for a while now and he knew he was correct. He even did his research by using his colleagues as potential test subjects! Not even one of them was perfect in one aspect! They would always bring in flaws as well no matter what!

For example Kunikida: Even though he was so righteous and would even catch criminals he would break the law. Like when chasing a criminal he would run through forbidden places or even break something.

Then there was Atsushi. Even though he was a kind little cute kitten at times he could also be a dangerous tiger. Someone who would kill only for the sake of staying alive only using pure instincts

Or the most prime example: Ranpo and his intelligence. Ranpo was one of the smartest people Dazai had met so far. His intelligence was concerning and dangerous. It was almost perfect. If there hadn't been Ranpo's problem with directions. How could he be so smart and know the whole city plan yet lose his way within 5 minutes?! A true mystery but a clear indicator of nature's rule!

"Hmmm~ So why are you telling me this now of all times?", Mori hummed and put away his scalpel.

"I mean even now there's this rule! You are the most feared man in this city! One of the coldest bastards I know. Someone who would kill the person they loved without even flinching if necessary. Yet here you are nursing one of your wounded men".

"Your. Point. Why are you telling me this or do you just want to waste my time?", Mori looked up from the wound he had been sewing together. It had been about an hour and a half since Dazai had barged into the small lab and talked about this and it was starting to get onto Mori's nerves.

"So if nothing is pure and there will always be a mix then I am just in that effect right now!", Dazai exclaimed with a wide grin.

"Uh-huh", Mori nodded eying the younger man suspiciously. What was going on...? Had he fallen back to his mafia days and killed someone? What has he done...?

"It is only natural for me to think that a man is beautiful if I admire all the beautiful women! That is nature's curse! I cannot be purely looking at women, it is just not within the rules!", Dazai stood up with a wide grin on his face.

Mori felt like ramming his head into the wall. So he had listed to this talk for so long and THAT was the reason?! That Dazai had finally become aware of his feelings but tried to ignore and justify them? This had to be a bad joke!

"Indeed. Attraction can never be pure as well. Many would think that someone of the same gender is beautiful. We built the feeling of love through experience and not through sexual attraction alone. You just have a long history together...", Mori said and nodded with a smile. Maybe he could get this tension finally rolling in the right direction...

"True, true evil boss... But who ever talked about love?", Dazai crossed his arms and smiled.

"Listen child: Just because you thought for a split second that Chuuya looks good doesn't mean that you have to justify it for over an hour. Unless your feelings are rooted a bit deeper than that...", Mori shrugged and carefully disinfected the tools he had used.

"Pfft! Why would I ever fall for that small shrimp? I never even mentioned him!", Dazai laughed with a cocky grin on his face.

"Then you didn't stare at him all the time while he was training over there? It seems like the glass panel I built in here so I could correct some of the movements while also working have a different purpose for you...", Mori laughed a little seeing how Dazai's grin faded with every word he said.

Dazai's face was cold and emotionless now. Every other person would probably be scared to death but the person in front of him was just as scary. "Then let's suppose I would catch feelings for that hat rack, wouldn't that be weird? Like he is nothing like the beautiful woman I would like to commit double suicide with together!"

"That could be it. Still, I do not believe that a human would want to die that easily. We all strive to live no matter what. Even after committing grave sins and being tortured we still stand up and search for a reason. A reason to keep going. So you want to commit double suicide just for the sake of it? Who knows, I cannot figure you out child. Though maybe this is your true self wishing to find someone who would want you to live and with whom you can spend time together without worrying...", Mori concluded and changed into a new lab coat.

"And you think chibi would be that someone or what? Ew!", Dazai said while Mori went out of the door.

"Inner desires are scary as you cannot control them", Mori laughed while leaving Dazai alone in the room.

"That snake surely always knows what's going on...", Dazai mumbled and sat back down on his chair. He was still unsure about it himself so how should he know if Mori's idea was true?

Did he love the small man? The shrimp? The stupid hat rack? He didn't know! He just knew that he had once thought that he was beautiful when he talked with Kunikida about the ideal standard of beauty! And since then the thought had slowly started to infect his mind.

Was that love? How should he know what love felt like anyway? It wasn't like anyone had or would ever love him! Dazai always felt so frustrated when he had to put his feelings into words! Feelings were so difficult if you had never really experienced them! The only one who taught him a little bit about them was Odasaku but that was a long time ago...

Dazai sighed again. Even if it wasn't love, what was it then...?

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Not the best chapter but hey it's ok! Hope you liked it! Yay!