Bungo stray dogs One Shots

Shin Soukoku - How to throw some shade

"So the thing is- wait why am I even asking you for advice?!"

"Because I'm the smarter one and Dazai loves me?"

"Shut up Jinko!", Akutagawa angrily said. Yet there was a small smile at the joke. They both knew that they weren't the sharpest tool in the shed. And that was fine you know. You don't have to be the best to live a happy life. You just have to make money for food. And they did that so no problem there.

"If you don't want my advice then fine", Atsushi joked and then pretended to lick his "paw" just like a cat would do. They actually got along quite fine now. After a few more fights Atsushi still kept hanging in there like the little innocent sunshine he was so now they had become something like friends.

"Alright. Then how can I get back to Dazai? How can I throw some shade?", Akutagawa asked. With a hand, he hid his mouth due to his embarrassment. Rashomon was already lurking in the shadow in case the tiger suddenly started to laugh.

Surprisingly the reaction was quite different. Atsushi seemed more confused. No not confused it was some sort of... excitement? Did he feel excited that Akutaga just gave up and wasn't a threat anymore?!

"SO YOU DECIDED TO GIVE UP ON YOUR UNREQUIRED FEELINGS FOR DAZAI-SAN?!?"

"Don't scream so loud you idiot tiger! I just-", Akutagawa started. That tiger really was too dense how could you think Akutagawa had feelings for his mentor whom he admired and respected deeply?!

"I will help!", Atsushi immediately stopped Akutagawa from whatever he wanted to say.

"But you're literally the embodiment of sunshine. How can YOU throw shade?", Akutagawa sighed. This boy literally had no sense of what to do... Really if he just wanted to help he should find something he could do...

"I can do that! You can ask the others! I have learned! It's somewhat a basic skill you start to gain after something inevitable stands between you and your happiness!", Atsushi declared his eyes still sparkling with excitement. "And for us both that's Dazai-san", was what Atsushi mumbled after that though it wasn't heard by the one he harbored feelings for...

"So then teach me if you think you can", Akutagawa leaned back in his chair. He was really sure that this wouldn't work out.

"Do you ever say things in your head? Like critics or snarky comments?", Atsushi asked after thinking a little bit.

"No".

"Alright, then you just- wait did you just say no?", Atsushi looked at Akutagawa in horror. He did expect Akutagawa to have a cute and innocent side but this? This was just too adorable! It took everything within Atsushi not to squeal immediately.

"Why should I keep them in my head? If I have a problem I address it they are too weak anyway", Akutagawa shrugged and coughed a little. True Akutagawa wasn't the one to care about others' opinions or emotions if their name wasn't Dazai Osamu.

"S-s-so that won't work, huh", Atsushi chuckled a bit. Yet bold Akutagawa was also really cute now... "Then how about you learn a few catchy phrases from the internet? Like "the bar was already so low yet here you are limbo dancing with the devil". You know, those kind of lines", the white tiger suggested.

"That's uncreative and unoriginal. I'm not as useless as you", Akutagawa hissed. The weretiger wasn't really an effective help for his problem. At least it was cute to see how he tried his best, Akutagawa could watch him all day long...

"You really don't hold back anything, huh?", Atsushi chuckled a bit. It was a weird request from Akutagawa after all the one who would always spit sassy and bad insults at Atsushi. How did he fall for the frail mafioso again? Love really was unpredictable...

"This won't lead to anything", Akutagawa sighed and started to stand up. It was irritating how he felt so at ease with his enemy. If this had no real meaning then they should just stop this meeting now.

"WAIT!", Atsushi shouted while panicking. Now he should better come up with an idea unless he wanted to lose his leg once again... "How about you pretend Dazai is me!".

"That Dazai is... you", Akutagawa questioned a little disgusted.

"YES! You're always insulting me and throwing shade at me so just think as if it wasn't Dazai but me standing in front of you! Let's try it out immediately", Atsushi rambled. He didn't want to lose this moment just yet so he did his best to drag it along. Drag it along as he did with Akutagawa. The poor frail boy had to try and keep up with the weretiger's speed after all right now...

Soon they found their victim: Dazai. He was easily found on a bridge looking into the clear sky. It was early morning and the tall male was lost in his daydreaming. Probably about suicide. Yeah, most likely suicide.

However, Atsushi didn't expect Akutagawa to fully sprint towards his old mentor. He wasn't the only one after all. Dazai who was grabbed in his confusion was dragged into a dark alleyway.

After that weird maneuver Akutagawa took a few steps back coughing a little: "Excuse me Dazai-san". Dazai and Atsushi exchanged looks. This was nothing they had expected...

"Though you ought to be careful it's garbage day today. You shouldn't be taken away", Akutagwa said and bowed to his old mentor. He then turned away and started to walk on the sideway as if it was the most normal thing to do. He also gestured towards Atsushi to follow him.

Atsushi was extremely happy and bubbly now. His rival was out of the way now!

And Dazai? Dazai was completely confused and out of it. How did the dog learn to speak so sassy? What did he just witness?

On the other side of the street, a middle-aged man with sunglasses looked at the scene. The small blonde girl beside him said only one word: "Lol".

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Not much ship again but I thought it was funny and cute :3 Hope you enjoyed it! Let's see if I get at least ½ a chapter done today...

Any funny stories anyone? I don't know what to annoy you with right now XD