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Part Eleven: Chapter 62: Desire

The Joker's eyes shut as a shudder ran down his body from the sound of Bruce's words and the heat of his breath. A pressure built in the Joker's chest as he questioned if Bruce was being honest or not. The Joker is quite aware how crazy the whole notion of this particular scenario seemed. Batman...loved him? The Joker? The same Joker who had left death and destruction in his wake? The same Joker who had been beaten within an inch of his life by the Dark Knight, far too numerous times to keep track of? The same Joker who had done the same exact thing to the cowled vigilante?

Maybe the Joker was just dreaming. Maybe this was his subconscious and this was some Freudian slip of sorts. Maybe he was experiencing side effects from the truth serum. Perhaps it was all a hallucination. It was after all ridiculous, Bruce Wayne, the Batman, wanted his arch enemy?? Wanted him like....wanted him? The Joker was technically insane, so hallucinations, strange dreams, and irrational thoughts kinda went with the territory. So hallucinating all this wasn't exactly far fetched.

But the Joker, the genius that he was, knows that when people dream vividly they do feel things as if they were real. Happiness, sadness, loss and fear were the most common. There naturally is pain, but ironically people typically dream of emotional pain, empathy, death of a loved one. But for some reason pain, like in an injury, is somehow absent from the majority of peoples dreams. Hence the old saying, 'am I dreaming? Pinch me.' So the Joker accepts that he's not dreaming. If he was dreaming he wouldn't feel the pain he felt in his chest.

Which brings the Joker to wonder about Batsy's current mental state? Did he recently receive a head injury? The Joker couldn't taste alcohol on Bruce's tounge, so he wasn't drunk. Bats on drugs didn't really seem realistic either. However, this time the Joker wasn't the one who initiated the kiss. Kisses. Nor could the Joker forget that when he had kissed him the first time, he quite eagerly kissed him back. It seemed more likely that this was a trick.

"Of course it's a trick. Why would Batman have feelings for a monster. Better yet, why would Bruce Wayne, of all people, want to be involved with one?"

"Bruce," the Joker swallows hard as Bruce's lips returned to his neck, "You, better than anyone, know what I am."

Bruce leans up and looks down at the Joker's eyes. Bruce knew exactly what kind of criminal the Joker was. But Bruce could see more than that. The Joker had been hurt by the people who were supposed to have loved him. How could anybody expect him to be able to blindly trust. You had to earn the Joker's trust, and he didn't make it easy. The Joker tested you, again and again. He pushed you away. He did unspeakable tragedies to you. Trials. Challenges. Tests of endurance. And if you could endure all that and still prove your undying loyalty to the Joker, then and only then did he give you his trust. Bruce knew he had the Joker's trust. The Joker just didn't trust himself.

It's been said many times that the Joker was not capable of being loyal. They say the Joker can't form or maintain any form of relationships. But for over three years the Joker has consistently stuck to one main plan, to prove to Bruce (And the world) that given the right circumstances, anyone can become just as crazy as he was. That kind of focus and determination may as well be loyalty. The Joker was loyal to opening his Batsy's eyes. And, even though they were on different sides of the law, the two did have a relationship. But they say the Joker can't love. But what is love if it isn't loyalty and trust?

But Bruce knows things about the Joker that few know. He was once a man named Jack who loved and was deeply hurt. That was the real reason he became the Joker. The Joker was a personality that was incapable of being hurt. The Joker didn't allow himself to feel. But in all the time that Bruce has been fighting him, he's gotten a first row seat to the rare glimpses into the windows of his soul. Bruce has seen the pain, anguish, confusion and love, no matter how briefly before fleeting. Bruce knew he was seeing it now.