Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (Rewrite)

Chapter 98: Don Peyote

As CJ stood outside looking around, he heard his cellphone ring. CJ pulled it out of his pocket to answer it.

"Hello," CJ answered.

"Who am I speaking to?" he heard The Truth answer.

"It's CJ," CJ replied. "Hey, Truth, is that you?"

"Might be," Truth responded. "Might be a government algorithm trying to pick your brains, so don't admit anything!"

"Whatever, man," CJ muttered. "Whassup?"

"I need a favor, Carl," Truth told him. "Thought I could cash in some karma chips."

"Your credit good," CJ said.

"I took some fellow travelers deep into the desert on a peyote safari a few nights back," Truth told him. "We faced the inner light and communed with the lizard king."

"Sounds fun," CJ said. "How did it go?"

"That's the problem," Truth answered. "I don't know. I'm in Los Santos. I woke up in a Japanese bathhouse about an hour ago. I have no idea how I got here or where the others are."

Los Santos? CJ thought. Man, this dude is everywhere!

"They're probably fine," CJ convinced.

"I don't think so," Truth told him. "They were Brits - a band and their managers. They have no experience about the desert."

"OK," CJ uttered. "Where'd you make camp? I can go have a look."

"I took 'em up Arco del Oeste - fantastic sunsets," Truth answered. "Best start looking for them up there."

A band in the middle of the desert? CJ thought. Man, this place is crazy!

So CJ hung up his phone and hopped into a red Buffalo parked just up front. He started the engine and drove straight up to the Julius Thruway South freeway, where he made a right turn. He drove through the freeway, trying to avoid the cars driving out of control.

Can't believe I gotta drive all the way out to the fucking desert just to pick up a band, CJ thought furiously.

It was a very long drive for CJ, about thirty minutes, and by the time he finally made it to the desert, he felt the blazing heat igniting in the afternoon sunlight. It was so hot outside that CJ had to roll the window down due to the heat the inside of the car had been permeated with. He searched around the desert and finally made it to Arco del Oeste.

CJ put the vehicle in park and hopped out, looking for the band in the blazing heat. He saw the heat waves floating around the area and almost lost his vision searching through it. The crows cawed distantly.

"Hello?!" CJ bellowed, squinting his eyes through the heat waves. "Hey, anybody out here? Truth sent me!"

"EH!" CJ heard someone call out in a British accent. "Over 'ere!"

CJ turned to see a British man wearing a white bucket hat, white windbreaker, and blue jeans.

"Hey, man, you all right?" he asked the British man.

"'Kin' 'ell," the British man replied. "I'm fucking hanging."

CJ turned around to find another British man with spiky black hair wearing a blue vest over black pants and red sneakers lying right next to him. "Stone me bloody crows," he answered, barely waking up. "Where am I?"

"I dunno, mate," the British man with the bucket hat replied. "I was having a dream; I was wanking over some fat bird's tits when this twat turned up."

The spiky-haired Britain rose up on his feet and approaches the partner. "Maccer, you fucking psycho!" he scolded his partner. "You did it again, didn't you?!"