It might just be summer, might be because my female cycle was/has started/starting, I don' know. But these past fe nigths I haven't been able to sleep right.
I feel this kind of anxiety, like something bad is going to happen if I try to sleep. My heart beats faster at night, currently is now. It doesn't matter if I stayed up all day, i can't sleep much. If I do, i pass out around 1 or 2 am and wake up at 5 or 6ish.
And tonight I think I just made things worse by looking for specific "sound things" fotr my "mood", and I found something called Binaural Beats, and it just caused me to feel so anxious and like someone was trying to trick me or something, every one I watched. So I just stopped after the 3rd or 4ht one. But I still feel the anxiousness,
Not to mention I barely get out of the house. My dad now works, and I don't realy find any comfort going down to the park. Especially after my sisters have come back talking about how the neighbors followed them before and just sat in their car,. The same neighbors who got in a fight with my dad and let their kids shoot rocket things at 2 in the mirning.
And it's probably dehydration too, because I'm really thirsty right now and we're all out of purified water for the moment except qwhatever water bottles I can find idden with just a bit of water in my room, and tap just makes my throat feel worse.
So ya. I'm doing like crap right now. I'm so dam tired, to the point where my eyes are dying to close. But I try laying down and I just start over-thiinking, even if I play the things that usually calm me. Silence just leaves even more room for overthinking. I might just start moving to sleeping all day and staying up all night just so i can have tiredness be one less thing causng issues.
