TW:
Pedophilia
SA
I just realized something.
So if a woman assaults a little boy, she gets less of a sentence and he gets told he should like it.
But if a guy assaults a little girl, he gets a longer sentence (or at least a harsher one), and she either gets support or gets told it was her clothes.
Now, we already know it's NOT okay to blame a child. If you're honestly blaming a child for "wanting it" or for their clothes, you're just as much of a pedo for thinking of the child sexually.
But here's the thing:
Sometimes, child SA victims will grow up to be the one who abuses a child.
NOT ALL THE TIME. But sometimes. Sometimes someone who inflicted trauma was someone who went through this trauma.
By telling them it's their fault, you're only ensuring further that they might do the same to another child. They could even do so while they're still a child. They could've been harmed when they were 8, then when they're 15 the words have stuck to them, it became all they knew, and they end up harming someone younger because they think they're not at fault.
Now let's also go back to the fact some boys get SA'd by a woman. But the reverse gets the harsher punishment.
If a boy grows up getting assaulted by an older woman, he gets told he's lucky and is told he can't get assaulted, especially if he got hard during it (it happens when a male's blood pumps faster to their penis, which would happen during an attack. Same way getting wet during SA is just the female body's way of preparing for insertion. Does NOT mean it's wanted. Just throwing that out there in case you didn't know, or thought your abuse was okay because you were told that).
But if he did the same thing to a young girl as an adult, acting on something he was TAUGHT was good (or he does it to a young boy, he gets to be called the reason gay people are bad), he gets called all the worst things in the book and gets a harsher sentence. Which could've been prevented if he'd been taught that that was wrong, that child x adult relations WASN'T okay, if he'd gotten the help he needed. But he wasn't. All he knew was that he was a kid told it was normal.
Same thing for guys who assault young boys and women who assault young girls.
Cycle of abuse isn't always just verbal, mental, or physical. It can be sexual, too.
No, not every person who inflicts that harm dealt with that harm themselves. Some are just sick individuals.
But some do it to regain a sense of control, or it's all they know. But some are either mentally unwell or were snobs who never learned No.
I forget her name, but there was this girl who's mom gave her up for foster care, then wanted her back later. That mom and her husband or boyfriend went to assault the girl and sell her body while she was only a child, not even in double digit age, and the abuse done to her was so bad that, when authorities stepped in, she was deemed too horribly harmed to ever have biological kids, when she was saved around...I forget her age, but it was between 8 to 12, and she was given back to the foster family who originally fought to keep her.
When she grew up, she ended up having "relations" with a young girl. Because it was all she knew, she thought it was okay even after she got help.
She grew up being told it was normal, she grew up being harmed horribly. It was normalized for her, no matter how bad it was. It especially got normalized when the bad people got to keep her far more than the people who did genuine love her.
Even if she got rescued in the end, the wires were already connected to the wrong ports, and it's hard to rewire someone once the cords had been connected in the same spot for so long.
So when a young boy is told he wanted it, or a young girl is told it was her clothes, whether their abuser is the opposite or the same gender, it makes them think that SA is something some people deserve and they go on to abuse another child. And that mindset only gets worse when their attacker barely gets punished for it.
It's also why someone people sleep around a lot as an adult. Maybe they don't want to harm people, child or adult, but they still feel they HAVE to be sexual, so they sleep around. They go on hook-up sprees, sleep with anyone willing. They do it either out of addiction, coping, or as a way to regain their control over their body.
Now don't take this as me justifying SA.
There's a difference between a reason and an excuse. And there is no excuse for inflicting that harm on someone.
But I'm pointing out a reason, since there's still sicko's who blame children for what happened to them despite them not knowing what TF was going on, that don't understand they're the reason why the cycle keeps turning.
Or maybe someone reading this thinks they're as bad as the person who abused them for thinking such things. Humans are like machines. There's only so much work you can take before you start to crack if you aren't able to get help.
But you disliking the thoughts is already a good sign. You know they're wrong, you know you don't want to inflict that stuff. And you're strong for going this far without breaking. I believe in you, and I hope you find the help you need, even if just a small outlet online. For making it this long, staying alive and not harming anyone else, I'm proud of you.
Despite your struggles, even if you don't deal with those thoughts, you make humanity just a little bit better. And you're not alone in it. You, and others who struggle with the same thing, make humanity stronger by showing evil doesn't always have to spread, and that victims aren't always weak after their bad moment. Keep going!
And if someone tries to tell you it's your fault, ask them this:
If you make a delicious looking cake that someone saw for a second, is it okay for them to break into your house and take your cake? Maybe you shouldn't be making delicious cakes? It's your fault that someone couldn't resist breaking into your house and taking your personal stuff.
That should shut them up, I hope. They shouldn't be justifying your attack. Their justification sounds as stupid as stealing someone's cake.
