💚🧡Bakudeku & Kirikami One Shots❤️💛

To be perfection~ Part 2

❤️💛

The wait is over! I'm so pumped and ready to end this mini episode and NOTHING CAN STOP ME- except coffee breaks...

AU:
Normal
Warnings:
Homophobia
Heavy angst

[Kaminari's POV]

"I... I like you Denki!"

A part of me felt joyous and happy that he confessed, that the feelings were mutual, that we can have a relationship, that he can be mine and I can be his. But the other part of me, the one part I trusted to listen to, the louder voice, told me this was a bad situation. I was trying my best not to like him, to ignore him and move on with my life, so I didn't appear to others as gay. It would only make it worse if I told Kirishima that I had similar feelings, because in which case, other people would be bound to find out. I needed to fit in, so I could seem normal, straight and popular. I had come so far socially, and I couldn't go back now. Me rejecting Kirishima would not only break off all romantic feelings from him, because he would know I don't like him back, but would break off the long-lasted connection I had with him in the first place.

I didn't listen to the smaller voice, thinking it was the gay part of my mind trying to fight back. But I didn't realise it was the better part of my mind, trying to tell me that all is fine if I told him my true feelings, that it doesn't matter what other people think. I wish I had listened to it sooner, and I was to understand this later, but at that point, I was so lost and split I just followed the first voice I heard. I also didn't hear that smaller voice say that I'd lose one of the most important people in my life if I didn't break ties carefully. I would be further lost without him, only making this worse.

But I was too blind, driven with frustration. If I were to not return his feelings, I should do it softly. And I knew my feelings towards him would only strengthen if I didn't split now. So my reason was plain- I didn't like these feelings, so not being his friend would make it better. Let alone his lover. However, I could've at least broke off kindly. The pent-up frustration came out through my words, like daggers being shot from my mouth, gashing and slicing Kirishima. And his hardening couldn't stop them from hurting him this time.

"NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" I felt the guilt hit me harder than I anticipated, causing me to take a step away from him from being off-balanced. Kirishima's face morphed into pain, fear displayed on his eyes, easily read by anyone. He's one who always smiles, and the fact that I made him like this hurt me the most. Tears shone and the lights on the walls seemed to get dim. I wanted to take the words back, but I couldn't. I was freezing, each movement stiff and heavy.

"Kam-"

"STOP!" I needed to leave. Now! "Just... no... I... leave me... forever... I can't..." I felt anger and hatred bubble in my heart. Not at Kirishima, but at myself. For being the cause of his bleeding. His silver tears. I wanted to reach out, wipe those tears away and whisper to him that everything would be ok. But I can't turn back anymore. It had to be done. The strings were already cut.

Kirishima thought I was fading away. The Kaminari he knew was fading away in front of his eyes, disappearing and being replaced by a complete stranger. I felt the lump in my throat largen. His eyes were widened, holding his breath as if he was drowning, the surface getting further and further away. I can't reach out anymore- I've dug to deep to do that now. He tried reach out to me, his hand shaking, hoping I would come back when I recognise his touch, tears silently falling, dripping and staining the floor beneath him. 

But I batted his hand away, unable to make it to the exit. I was glued in place, too lost, the guilt clawing against my lungs. More tears, drowning his eyes. He took in a breath and was going to say something, but I stopped him, the hate towards myself taken out on my now former best friend. "LEAVE! YOU'RE MAKING IT HARDER FOR ME TO DO THIS!" I took a shaky breath in myself, trembling in emotions I can't even describe. I couldn't stop myself from continuing. "IT'S BEST FOR THE BOTH OF US!" He released a sob, voice breaking. I felt slight numbing, unable to comprehend what had happened. I really did lose my first and closest friend at UA. Forever.