Down the Rabbit Hole

Broken Heart Part 1

It was dark by the time they left the motel. They had been on the road now for a couple of hours.
"All right. Exit's in 3 miles." Sam told Dean.
"I still say this is a bad idea."
"Dean, it was your idea, and it was the best one any of us had." Sam reminded him.
"I said it as a joke."
"It was a bad joke, good idea." Sam told him.
"Yeah, only because we got no magic spell, no book, nothing on how to find a freakin' righteous bone."
"We can call Castiel again." Sam suggested. Dean gave him a look as Lacey began to giggle from the back seat.
"Dude, on my car, he showed up naked, covered in bees."
"Yeah, I'm not really sorry I missed that." Sam nodded. Dean reached over and turned on the radio.
"The price of stock hit an all-time high following Roman's acquisition of Sucrocorp. I say Roman's a buy."
"Got to disagree with you there. I'm gonna call him a "wait and watch.""
"Come on, Lawshe. You're killing me."
"Hear me out. This is a new sector for Roman."
"That's right. He's holed up at Sucrocorp headquarters right now."
"So sit tight..." Dean turned off the radio.
"Holed up at Sucrocorp, huh?"

Dean's plan was to find a cemetery attached to a nunnery and find a righteous bone there.
"Well, I guess if we can't find a righteous bone in a freakin' nunnery crypt." Dean mumbled as they swept their torches across the crypt walls, searching for someone appropriate.
"All right. Here, listen to this. Sister Mary Benedict, taught the learning impaired and died at age 23." Sam read aloud from the Church records.
"Eh, it's a little young. Find someone who's had time to cook." Dean suggested.
"Okay, well there was Sister Mary Eunice, fed the poor, became Mother Superior at age 60."
"Sounds political. Power corrupts." Dean reminded him. Lacey smirked at him.
"Right... listen to this, Sister Mary Constant, 83 years of quiet, humble nun-like goodness. What do you think?"
"Wow. I want to be more righteous just reading this." Dean nodded in agreement.
"Exactly."
"All right, well, I lay odds on her. Here we go." Dean walked over to the grave marker on the wall.
"Well, let's bone this nun." Lacey snorted and Sam pulled a face.
"May want to re-phrase that, hun." Lacey smiled at him.
"Sorry." Dean shrugged before hefting the mallet he was carrying and smashing the tomb open.

Once they'd retrieved the bone they headed back to Rufus's cabin and set up the ritual to summon Crowley. Dean tossed a lit match into the bowl, the flames rose up and then died down, but Crowley did not appear.
"Is he trying to make a grand entrance or..." Dean looked around, still waiting for him to appear.
"I don't know."
"Son of a bitch. He's standing us up." Dean grumbled.
"Well, we summoned him. Doesn't he kind of have to..." Sam frowned.
"If Crowley wants to screw you, he'll screw you."
"Or he can't come cause something went wrong."
"Oh joy, you're just full of optimism today aren't you?" Lacey groaned. There was a knock at the door. The three of them exchanged confused looks. Sam and Dean took out their guns.
"Maybe it's good news." Dean suggested as Sam looked through the peep hole before opening the door and letting Meg in.
"You deal with him. I can't anymore." She told them, sounding frustrated.
"You might want to be more specific." Dean suggested at they put their guns away.
"I was laying low halfway across the world when emo boy pops up out of nowhere and zaps me right back here." Meg complained.
"Why?"
"Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first." Dean sighed and he and Lacey headed outside. Cas was sitting in the front seat of a truck parked in front of the cabin.
"Hey, there." Dean said, leaning against the side of the truck, talking to Cas through the open window. "So, Cas, what's the word?"
"Well, Dean, I've been thinking. Monkey's are so clever and they're sensible in that they leave the skins on the bananas that they eat. Is it really necessary to test cosmetics on them? I mean, how important is lipstick to you, Dean?" Dean got a pained look on his face and turned to Lacey.
"You want to field this one?" Lacey smiled at him.
"Uh, sure. It's nice but I could live without it. I'll buy cruelty free from now on." Lacey reassured him.
"You want to come inside and tell us what's going on?" Dean suggested. He opened the car door and Cas got out, following them into the cabin.
"Now you understand I don't participate in aggressive activity." Cas told them. He picked up the bone from the table and sniffed it. Lacey blinked at him but didn't say anything. "Hmm, Sister Mary Constant. Good Choice."
"Why'd you go to Meg, Cas?" Dean asked.
"When I left, I wanted to observe the flowers... and fruit. Flowers come first obviously. But I heard nothing from them."
"Yeah, they don't talk in this reality." Lacey told him as Sam frowned.
"You heard nothing from who?"
"The Garrison."
"What happened to the Garrison?" Sam asked.
"Well, finally, the silence was deafening, so I went to look, to the home of the Prophet. You know, Leviathan can kill angels. There's a reason why Father locked them in Purgatory. They're the Piranha that would eat the whole aquarium. They're gone. The entire Garrison, dead. If there's anyone left at all, they're in hiding."
"I'm sorry. If the angels are dead, where's Kevin?" Dean asked.
"I could steal them from their cages, the monkeys. But where would I put them all?" Cas mused.
"Hey!" Dean clapped his hands together. "Focus. Is Kevin alive?"
"I don't want to fight." Cas mumbled. Lacey went over and patted his arm.
"No, I'm not..." Dean calmed himself down. "We're worried."
"They took him. He's alive. I felt such responsibility, but it's in your hands now." Cas smiled.
"Wait. Hold on a freakin' minute." Dean was getting angry again.
"I feel much better."
"Guys, what's all that?" Meg asked, warily, pointing at the summoning spell ingredients on the table.
"We called Crowley." Sam told her.
"You what?" Meg exploded.
"Don't worry. He never showed." Dean told her.
"What do you mean never..."
"Do you see him anywhere? He stood us up."
"Well, I'm sorry about that, but I'm outie. He could still..."
"Show up at any time." Crowley's gravelly voice interrupted her. "Hello, boys. Sorry I'm late. This is an embarrassment of riches. Stay, won't you. There really is nowhere to run." He directed the last part at Meg who had run for the door, but Crowley appeared in front of her, blocking her path. "Don't even think of smoking out, pussycat, I've got eyes all over the place."
"Leave her be." Cas told him.
"Castiel. When we last spoke, well, you enslaved me. I'm confused. Why aren't you dead?"
"I... don't know." Cas frowned.
"Well, do you want to be? Cause I can help with that." Crowley offered.
"All right, enough." Dean told them.
"It's enough when I say. I came here to help you. I find out you've been lying to me, harbouring an angel, and not just any angel, the one angel I most want to crush between my teeth."
"Oh, so you can crush angels now, huh?" Meg taunted him.
"You bore me. You know that? You have no sense of poetry." He turned to Cas. "Now, what do you have to say for yourself?"
"Well, I'm still, uh, honing my communication strategy. I haven't even been back to Heaven. I keep thinking there are no insects up there, but here we have trillions. You know, they're making honey and silk and miracles, really." Cas smiled absentmindedly.
"What are you talking about?" Crowley asked, slightly stunned.
"Um, preferring insects to angels, I guess. Here. I can offer a token if you like." Cas pulled a plastic bag from his pocket and offered it to Crowley. "It's honey. I collected it myself." Crowley looked at Dean, who shrugged.
"You're off your rocker. He's off his rocker, is that it? Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" Crowley mused, still eyeing up Cas. He picked up a glass of whiskey from the table, sniffed it and put it back.
"Look, did you come here to donkey-punch your old grudges or to help us end Dick? Pick a battle."
"Well, I'm vexed. I'd like to do both. But where's the fun in clobbering a ball of wet fur? Text me when Sparkles here retrieves his marbles, I suppose. Meanwhile...a prezzie." He pulled a vial of blood from his jacket pocket.
"Really? Just boxed-up and ready to go?" Sam asked, sceptically.
"I'm a model of efficiency." Crowley smiled at him.
"Is that right? Then why were you late?"
"Dick had me in a devils trap. He's not an idiot. He knows what you two are after."
"So what did he offer you?" Sam asked.
"A fair deal. In exchange for giving you the wrong blood. It's demon, but is it mine? It's my blood. Real deal."
"And why should we trust you?" Dean asked, frowning at him.
"Good God, don't. Never trust anyone. A lesson I learned from my last business partner." Crowley glanced over at Cas.
"All right. Give us the blood."
"Certainly. Oh, bonus. Meg, I'm gonna scoop you up, take you home and roast you till you're jerky. But not yet." He added as Cas moved in front of her. "Cas can have you for now. Hilariously, it seems he'd be upset at losing you. And the boys need Cas to get Dick? Don't they, Cas?"
"Oh, I don't fight anymore." Cas told him, looking down at the floor.
"Come on. Given the particulars of your enemy, sadly your vital." Crowley tossed the vial to Sam before disappearing. Dean grabbed the book of Kevin's translations and flipped through to the right page.
"Well, one thing's for sure, we only get one shot." Sam walked over to the table, putting Crowleys vial of blood with the others. "This thing don't reload."
"You think Crowley's..." Sam paused.
"Double crossing us?" Dean suggested.
"Yeah."
"You've got to figure who he wants dead more, us or Dick."
"Depends what Dick offered. Here we go." Sam poured the vials of blood into the bowl. "Okay. Ummm... so do we...?" Dean looked down at the book.
"Uh, there's no magic words, nothing. We just...go." Dean shrugged.
"All right then." Sam poured the bowl of blood over Sister Mary Constant's bone. Lacey moved closer waiting for something to happen, but nothing did.
"Where's all the thunder and lightning?" Dean asked, perplexed.
"Uh...maybe it worked?" Sam shrugged.
"Awesome." Dean muttered under his breath. There was a fluttering sound and Cas appeared holding plates of sandwiches.
"So, none of this should cause you any ill effect. I went to a little farm in Normandy for the wheat and the lettuce and tomato, not in yours though Lacey." Cas reassured her. "And I thoroughly examined and comforted the pig before I slaughtered it for the ham. Here. You need your strength." He put the plates down on the table.
"Thanks, Cas." Dean and Lacey took theirs. Cas held the last plate out to Sam.
"And Cas, why was Crowley so certain that you need to come with us?" Sam asked.
"Crowley's wrong. I'll be waiting right here. But please, accept this sandwich as a gesture of solidarity."
"You kind of have to take it now." Lacy told him before taking a bite of hers.