Lookism Gun x Reader: How The Mighty Fall In Love

Another One

"Did you really think that just by switching rooms, you could get away? I'm in your mind dumbass. You can't get away from me. You're stuck with me forever."

I shut my eyes.

Leave me alone. It's been about four years since I got out of The Academy, it's been about two years in a half since I messed up with Plato, why am I still having these nightmares?! I don't have PTSD, I don't have depression, I don't have anxiety.

I need to become perfect!

I can't be perfect, I will never be perfect, I'm not good enough. Targets escape me, Plato is still out there, Charles Choi is still powerful, there are still enemy organizations out there, there's still people who I need to recruit, wars are raging on, world hunger is still a problem, people are dying, poverty is still a thing, scams, robbery, gangs, evil, hate, that all still exist.

How could I ever be called perfect when I can't save everyone? How can I be called perfect when I've killed people and sometimes I have to kill people because they'll hurt someone else? If my words don't work, then I'm not perfect.

"Idiot."

"Useless."

"Dumb bitch."

"You'll never be perfect."

"Ugly ass."

"Murderer."

"Selfish."

"Hypocrite."

"You let us die."

"You let everyone die."

"Do you know how many people are dead because of you?"

"You don't deserve mercy."

"Kill yourself."

(Do not kill yourself. I love you all, even though I don't know you. Don't kill yourself, whatever you're going through, I'm sure it will have a surprisingly better outcome then you expect. I'm here for you guys if you need anything.)

I sobbed and sunk down as the people I killed came toward me.

"You murdered me you dumb bitch. You kill everyone you meet. Look!" My mom gripped my hair, making me look to the side. I shut my eyes, refusing to look at whatever she was referring to.

"I said look!" I sobbed and opened my eyes. I gasped as I looked up at Gun. He was looking at me in shock and betrayal, blood dripped down his mouth.

I looked down to see I had a sword that was stabbed into his stomach and pulled up in between his ribs. He fell to his knees, gasping for breath.

I screamed and backed up, throwing my hands up. Gun fell on his side and stared lifelessly at nothing. I screamed and screamed. I dug my nails into the side of my face and pulled down, blood following suit. My wrist were gripped and pulled away by mother in anger.

I pulled away and scratches my stomach, causing myself to bleed quite a lot. I was pushed down and pinned. My mother was screaming at me about being a murderer and I kept trying to scratch myself until I was slapped across the face.

I gasped and sat up breathing heavily and shaking in fear. Gun was on top of me, gripping my wrists.

He was covered in blood.

My eyes widened and I screamed even louder. I killed him! I killed him! I killed him and now he's going to kill me!

"YN! Calm down! Calm down! You're hurt!"

"Gah!" I screamed and tried to push him off.

"Stop it!" He shouted and pinned me down again. I panickedly breathed and stared into his white pupils.

"Stop it. Your hurt. It was just a nightmare."

"What?" I panted.

"It. Was. A. Nightmare. You're okay. You need to calm down."

"You're bleeding." I whispered.

"No I'm not. It's your blood."

"Oh my God, am I on my period?! How did it get on you, I'm so sorry! Usually I can tell when I'll get it, Flo said I'm not supposed to get it till about two weeks!"

"It's not your period blood."

"Then.....how?"

"You scratched yourself in your sleep while screaming."

"What? I-I'm sorry."

Gun examined my face and his eyes trailed down my body.

Uhhh, sir?

He was only wearing boxers. GOOD GOD, is that his- NOPE- but that's really fucking b-NOPE X2!

I looked down to my body. My shirt was rolled up just under my breast, which was lucky because I don't sleep with a bra.

(Sleeping with a bra on is actually unhealthy I forgot what it does but don't do it! Sleep like, with a hoodie on if it makes you uncomfortable, but stay healthy!)

I could see bloody scratches on my stomach. They weren't very deep, but I was still surprised. I looked up at him in shock. I felt something roll down the side of my face and drip into my ear. I touched it gingerly and pulled away to see my hand covered in blood. I looked at my hand that was still on Gun's chest as if to keep him away.

A blood stain in the shape of a hand remained on his skin and I looked at my hands. They were both so....so bloody. There was some skin under my nails and I was even more shocked.

What the fuck?

I thought I stopped scratching myself in my sleep when I had nightmares.

Realization hit me and I looked up at Gun wide eyed.

"You're- you're not dead...." I whispered and and he looked taken aback.

"You're not dead, you're not dead, I didn't kill you, you're not dead!" I smiled, tears of joy and relief streaming down my face.

I grabbed his face and he looked like he didn't know how to react.

I wrapped my arms around him and brought him down for a hug. I sobbed into his neck, laughing and hiccuping. He pulled us up, sat me in his lap and hugged me, holding me close to him and running his hand up and down my back comfortingly.