Lookism Gun x Reader: How The Mighty Fall In Love

I'm So Sorry

"Can I go yet? I need to look for YN." I said pulling on my sweater and slipping on my shoes.

"It's a waste of time, Goo. Just forget about her."

"Forget about her?! Old man, did you forget why I joined your group?"

"To become rich."

"For my sister! It's been to long, she needs me!"

"Goo, I need you and Gun to go check out the north side. Find out if they're good enough for The Four Major Crews."

"Hey! I can't, I'll do it after I pick up YN."

"Goo, I'm going to be honest with you. You need to forget about her."

"Excuse me?"

"She'll just get in your way and soften you up. We can't have that."

I glared at Charles Choi. How dare he?!

"YN is my sister! I'm not going to leave her in an abusive household!"

"Don't worry, she's not there anymore."

I blinked in shock. Huh? YN's not at home? What does he mean?!

"What do you mean YN isn't at the house? Where is she, is she okay? How do you know anyways? Are you keeping track of her?! Did you move her somewhere?! Why!?"

"I keep tabs on anyone that poses a threat to my mission. I need to make sure they're not a distraction."

"What's that supposed to mean?! YN is not a threat, in fact she could be helpful! Think about it, she's your daughter's age, Crystal doesn't have any friends and neither does YN! We'll introduce them and I know they will be best friends in minutes! Neither of them will ever be alone again!"

"I'm sorry Goo, but that won't be able to happen."

"What are you talking about?! Tell me where YN is right now!" I snarled.

How dare he?

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?!"

"Because I don't know where she is."

My heart sunk.

".... what-what? What do you...."

"There's no sign of her anywhere. She's disappeared and I don't know where she's gone."

"S-she's m-m-miss-ssing?"

"She's a lost cause. There's absolutely no trace of her anywhere. It's a wild goose chase."

"I DON'T CARE, SHE'S MY BABY SISTER AND I NEED TO FIND HER! SHE NEEDS ME, HOW COULD I LEAVE HER?! I'M SUCH AN IDIOT! I SHOULD HAVE IGNORED GUN AND WALKED AWAY! I HAD A BABY SISTER WHO NEEDED ME AT HOME AND INSTEAD I GET IN A FIGHT? YN, OH GOD, WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Goo. Work hard and then maybe you'll be able to meet someone that knows something about her. But going out on your own is useless. For now, just make the crews and get money. Without money, you can't do anything. You can't save your sister. Now get going and test those gangs."

I didn't want to. I wanted to run out and find her.

But what can I do? I have no money, no clues, no nothing.

But maybe there are clues! I can just look for them while I work!

YN, I'll find you! I'll find you and I'll never let you go, never again.

I'm so sorry.

~Goo's POV~

My watery eyes opened and the first thing I saw was YN cuddled up to me, fast asleep.

I carefully wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, making sure not to wake her.

Tears streamed down my face as I wept quietly. 

Where were you, why won't you tell me? Why do you hate the Chairman and his daughter so much?

They had nothing to do with it, talk to me! Talk to me and I can help you!

I can fix it!

I'm your big brother, that's my job, I know I haven't done it so well in the past, but please, let me redeem myself!

Tell me what I can do, please! I'm tired of seeing you so miserable and depressed all the time. I'm tired of seeing your fake smile because you can't find the happiness or energy to make a real one.

I can see Gun makes you happy, that's why I haven't run him out of the house yet. I'll put up with him hugging you and sleeping next to you because I can see that it makes you happy. I can see that your smiles aren't so fake with him.

I want you to be happy, please be happy! I'll give this whole thing up for you, please! I can see you have a crush on Gun, but I really don't want you dating him. He's a danger to you. I'm terrified that he'll hurt you in some way.

I'm terrified that I won't be there to help you. To save you.

He likes you too.

He likes you a lot.

Please don't date him.

But most importantly, please be happy.

And I just need you to know one thing. 

I love you.

I love you and I always will.

And I'm so sorry for not being there for you. For not being the big brother I was supposed to be.

For not being the brother you needed me to be.

I'm so sorry, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one day.

I know there's still some anger and resentment there.

I can see it.

I can see the blame in your eyes when you look at me.

I wish you would yell at me. I wish you would let it all out, all that venom that's hurting you, poisoning you from the inside out.

I wish you would hurt me so that you could heal.

I wish I could be the big brother you want me to be. 

I wish we were still close.

I kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer.

I'm so sorry I failed you YN.

I'm so sorry.