Beth pov
I laid here in the floor numb, no more crying or moving just the occasional pressing of skin from inside me. *ringing* I looked at the name and saw it was mike calling me but I left it, I moved my head so I was looking at the ceiling. I thought about all the funny times we had together and one came to mind.
{Flashback}
"I LOVE SAUSAGE ROLLS, PUT ANOTHER ONE IN THE OVEN BABY I LOVE SAUSAGE ROLLS PUT EM ON MY PLATE THEY'RE ALL FOR ME" Louise sang loudly whilst making herself some sausage rolls. "WE BUILT THIS CITY WE BUILT THIS CITY ON SAUSAGE ROLLS OH!" She sang again, I couldn't help but giggle and she turned round with a red face and was giggling too. "I can explain...actually no I can't." She smiled, I shook my head and laughed a little more. "Mum what's for dinner?" She asked whilst shoving the sausage roll in her mouth. "Chicken fajitas" I said she ran up stairs quickly and then I sat on the counter top wondering what she was up to. "CHICKEN FAJITAS CHICKEN FAJITAS LALALALALALALA" Her and the boys came down the stairs in a conga line shouting. "Why are you all weirdos?" I laughed and they aproached me. "Because mum, normal people are boring and uninteresting, weird people are unpredictable and fun. You never know what we are gonna do next." She reasoned and kissed my cheeks. {End of flashback}
I heard the dragging of cases and quiet voices getting closer, then a kettle turning in the lock. I laid here and hoped that It was Louise, I silently cried just wishing it wasn't true. "Beth! Beth it's okay we..we're home" luke crouched down and cuddled me tightly, I shook my head and cried harder. "But it's not okay, Louise isn't home. Louise isn't here singing stupid songs about sausage rolls and chicken fajitas is she? She's not sat on the sofa screaming at the super bowl and she's not ever going to do that again" I sobbed, luke was now crying again to, he kissed my hair. "She gave you a letter to read because she knew this was gonna happen, she wants you to read it." He sniffled, I got up from the floor and shook my head. "I dont want a stupid letter, I want louise" I made my way up to Louises room and I laid on her bed with tears streaming down my face and onto the pillow that smelt like her. "Babe please read the letter, it explains everything" He pushed the envelope in my hands. "Luke I don't want to, I just want her back." I sniffled, he sat beside me and gave me pleading eyes. I opened the letter and pulled out the page.
Dear mum
I'm sorry you had to find out like this but I thought it was best. I pushed you all away so you wouldn't miss me, if you're crying stop it. I did this because dickinson wanted to hurt you all and I made a deal. You all get to live safely and he won't bother you anymore, he was gonna hurt you and dad and everyone close to me so I told him he could do what ever he wanted to me if he left you all alone. For years he phone me, somehow he had my number but I changed it and that didn't work, I ran away to NYC and that didn't work either so I agreed. I love you more than you'll ever know, my first memory is of you and me when I was about 3 and you told me it's you and me against the world, now it's you and dad against the world. In sorry I had to leave but don't cry, just think of all the happy times we shared together, I need you to hold on to them and I don't want to be forgotten. Please don't forget me, I was so scared to die but that fear is getting more real everyday and everyday I'm away from you it feels more like relief. I was nothing in my life towards the end, just some hippie who worked in forensic science and lived with her hippie friends, illegal raves every weekend and high all the time. But when you think of me think of the book worm who could play guitar and sing random food songs. I'm gonna miss my talented mum who taught me how to tie my shoes and do my hair properly. I remember when you showed me how to braid my dolls hair and all my dolls had tight braids. I will always be with you and dad and everyone I care about
I love you louise
Ps: don't do anything stupid and look after the guys. They need you more than I do.
I placed the letter down and hugged her pillow even tighter. "She's gone, she's not coming back luke. She was so young and talented" I sobbed, he shushed me and laid down with me, he cuddled me from behind and placed his hands on my belly. "I know, she was amazing but she wanted us to not cr-" He stopped as he felt the baby kick harshly. "The baby just kicked." He gasped, I wiped my eyes and stopped crying. "Yeah, he's been doing that all day" I said tired, I snuggled back into lukes chest and sighed tiredly. "He? It's a boy?" He asked quietly, I looked up at him and nodded. "Yeah I was gonna tell you yesterday but ash called." I said quietly, I felt my eyes filling with tears and a few slipped out. "We can tell him how lovely his sister was, and how much she would have loved to meet him." Luke sighed, I nodded and cried myself to exaustion.
