Arthur Fleck and Joker Imagines

What could have been - Arthur x Reader

For Robert, with all my love.

Arthur made his way through the cemetery. A small bunch of flowers gripped tightly in his hand. He knew that he should come more often. He knew that she deserved it, but he had to admit that he hated his trips. He knew that he shouldn't, he knew that once he got to the grave that he actually enjoyed his time talking to her. But the two visits he made every year always brought back floods of memories, both good and bad.

(Y/n) had been gone three years now, yet Arthur was sure that it hadn't got any easier. She had been the only one that had ever understood him. The only one that had accepted him for all his faults and eccentricities. The only one that had loved him.

They had met out of the blue one day, as Arthur had escaped into a diner to avoid a sudden downpour. He had taken a seat in an empty booth, watching as the rain hit the window. The quiet man hoping that the storm wouldn't last all day.

"Hi sweetie. What can I get you?" A beautiful voice had asked. Arthur turning and staring in disbelief as he looked up at a smiling woman, that he could swear couldn't be real.

"I er........I don't have.......I mean I was just......." Arthur spluttered out. the woman smiling all the more as he tripped over his words.

"Ah, I get it. Just getting in outta the rain, huh? No money, yeah? Well, I tell you what. You look like a nice guy that deserves a break, and as the cook is an asshole that hates people just taking refuge in here without buying anything. I will buy you coffee and pie. Goodness knows, yah look like yah need it." The woman had informed a still stunned Arthur, as with yet another smile she walked back behind the counter, and poured him a cup of coffee, and cut a large piece of pie. Bringing them both over and placing them before him.

"Now, make sure that you eat every last crumb of that. I make those apple pies myself. It's my old grans original recipe, so you're not leaving here until that plate is clean." She had chuckled, a pink tinge coming to her cheeks as the man before her had continued to stare.

"I.......I will. I promise. Thank you. Er...........?" Arthur had enquired. Waiting and hoping for a name.

"(Y/n). Please to meet you........?" (Y/n) had replied. Holding out her hand for him to shake, as she in turned waited for a name.

"A-A-Arthur." Arthur told her as he took hold of her hand and shook it.

"Well, its very nice to meet yah, Arthur. Hope you enjoy." (Y/n) had told him, as she made her way back towards the counter.

"Could you join me?" Arthur suddenly asked, looking around the diner to see that he was the only customer.

"Why not. Its time for my break anyway. And I would rather spend it with a handsome, penniless stranger, than the chef." (Y/n) laughed, as she had taken a seat across from him in the booth.

Arthur could remember that the storm outside seemed to have lasted forever, but he hadn't cared. (Y/n) had sat with him the whole time, talking and laughing as if she had known him forever. And when the storm had finally abated, (Y/n) had asked him if she could see him again. Arthur hardly able to get his reply out quick enough, not wanting to give her any time to change her mind.

From that moment the two had barely been apart. Their few short years together had been the best of his life. And he knew that something so special was a once in a lifetime thing.

"Hi ." Arthur said quietly, stopping to talk to a headstone of an old lady that had lived in his building.

"I'm here to see (Y/n). You remember (Y/n). She was that girl that you told me I should marry." Arthur told the lump of granite, as he pulled a single flower out from the bunch and placed it on top of the stone.

"It would have been her birthday today, that's why I brought the flowers. But I don't think she'll mind you having just one. In fact, I think that she'd insist." Arthur continued, as he tried to hold back the tears.

"Well, I better go. She'll be waiting for me." Arthur said almost apologetically, as he turned and slowly made his way over to an old oak tree next to which (Y/n) was buried.

"Hi (Y/n). I brought you these." Arthur almost whispered as he stood before the headstone with (Y/n)'s name on it and placed the bouquet on the grass under which she lay.

"I know that I should come more often, but......but to be honest. I can't. I know that probably makes me a coward or something, but knowing that you're down there, and not with me, kills me every time, (Y/n)." Arthur told the gravestone, as he took a seat on the grass next to his flowers.

He could remember the day of the accident like it was yesterday. He could remember getting the call from the hospital, He could remember running through the streets of Gotham, the people and buildings a blur as he made his way to the emergency department. Stopping dead in his tracks as he saw (Y/n) strapped to countless silent machines. He could remember the doctor shaking his head, looking at his watch, and whispering the time of death to the nurse next to him. After that, everything had gone black, and Arthur could swear that the next thing that he could remember was the day of the funeral, as he and the rest of (Y/n)'s friends had stood around the grave.

He knew that he had lost a part of himself that day. A part that he would never get back. He would look at the pictures of the two of them together and wonder at what could have been. What his life could have been like if he hadn't lost her. Regretting letting her go that night. He had blamed himself for so long for what had happened, believing that if she had stayed with him, the drunk driver wouldn't have hit her. Blamed himself for not asking her to marry him so that they could always be together. But eventually he knew that if (Y/n) could see him, she would probably be annoyed. She would have wanted him to remember the life she had. To remember her lust for life that was infectious. Her ability to find magic in the smallest of things. And how she saw death as having a beauty all of its own. And she would want him to be happy. But he knew that he would never truly be happy again without her.

Arthur pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped away the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. The still broken man taking a deep breath as he began to tell the cold piece of granite what he had been doing since the last time he was there. Telling (Y/n) all about work. About the hospital and the sick kids. About the parties and the stores. And all about Gotham. A small part of him wishing that he could be buried next to (Y/n) rather than living in the flea infested city.

"I better go, honey." Arthur said, noticing that the sky was slowly turning dark.

"I promise I'll come again soon. I won't make you wait until the anniversary. I'll come on my birthday. Ok." Arthur continued, as he leant down and kissed to top of the stone.

"Happy birthday, honey. I miss you. I love you. I'll never stop loving you." Arthur told her, getting a strange feeling that (Y/n) was watching him and smiling. Telling him exactly the same things as he was telling her.

"I'll say hi to Misses Gutierrez for you on the way out. She always did like you." Arthur said with a sad smile, blowing a last kiss to the grave before turning and making his way back to the real world. Knowing that despite her not truly being there, he would do all he could to return when he promised. And that whatever happened in the future, (Y/n) would always have his heart.