I was on my riding lawnmower today and was having problems with the reception on my radio, which was in my pocket - I have headphones. I thought I heard the intro to "The Final Countdown," it was faint, must have been in my head because a song faded in for a couple seconds and it wasn't, "The Final Countdown." I was mowing and didn't want to reach into my pocket and change the station. Guess what the next song was? "The Final Countdown." The station was 100.9 out of Tulsa, and I don't think I have ever heard them play that song - it is not the only station I listen to, but I do like it. I didn't even really like that song while it was popular. So it wasn't like it pops into my head every day :-), in fact, I don't think it has ever popped into my head. What does it mean? I don't have a clue; yeah, I am a real help. It means to be prepared, love God and Jesus, and have faith in them. Maybe God was saying, "Hi," to me like I asked Him, or really begged Him to do. I miss His Presence. Ok it gets weirder. Yeah here we go. I thought this was related to one of my verses on my bathroom mirror - I have 34 verses on my mirror. I looked at all of them and the last one I looked at was it - it is the one with the black X in my direct line of sight.
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I am not gonna tell you what it is right now. I feel God doesn't want me to for some reason. I don't know what any of this means, or could possible mean. This isn't the first time this has happened, and I can't say that I am shocked; I am really, really confused. I also can't get "The Wrong Child" by R.E.M. out of my head - "I'm not supposed to be like this - but it's okaaay!" What this song means to me is that I am kinda isolated from the world, and nobody I know really believes me. This stuff does freak me out, but I was touched by the hand of God in a dream. He also told me to "walk in faith." "I'm not supposed to be like this," means that I have done nothing to merit any attention. I am just your normal average-day sinner. The dream was a couple years ago, and God hasn't directly spoken to me since. I have made an effort to love God like I should, and come to Him through Jesus; furthermore, I am reading the Bible for third time. I am also on my 530th entry. I don't want to act too humble, like God just picked me. He knew it was my time, and that is all. "It's okaaay!" means to have faith. Forget about man's world and start paying attention to God's world. This is so hard to do. Well, enough for now. Tell God you love Him.
Note - there are feelings and emotions written in here, besides the obvious ones, that you can begin to understand. At this point, I didn't understand them either, but now I do. It is a little foreshadowing. Being close to God can be very confusing because we want things in our time; God prepares you in His time.
This is a faithful saying:
For if we died with Him, We shall also live with Him. If we endure, We shall also reign with Him. If we deny Him, He also will deny us. If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself. 2 Timothy 2:11-13
