dedicated to anyone struggling with mental illness <3 youre so strong & im proud of you .
youre laying in bed, your body turned away from calum as you wait for him to fall asleep. tears silently slip down your cheeks as you try to take quiet breaths. you dont remember when you began to felt yourself hide your pain but, its been a while. the feeling that was in your chest was indescribable and the way your heart hurt was unbelievable. what seemed like a ritual now, you quietly cried yourself till the tears lulled you into sleep.
as you slept, the feeling of someone wrapping their arms around you let you know it was morning. lips pressed soft kisses to your jaw as you continued to try and sleep. after a while, finally you opened your eyes slowly, feeling yourself cuddle into his chest.
"g'morning baby." the boy rasped, kissing your forehead, fingers entangling in your hair. you just nodded and slowly wake up. "do you wanna go out to get breakfast? i'm sorta craving waffles." he continued on.
"sure, if you want to." you answered softly,
playing with his necklace.calum looked down at you, watching your tired actions.
"you okay, babe?" he asked, chocolate eyes being filled with worry. you looked up at him, giving him a small smile before kissing his lips softly.
"yup, jus' kinda got some shitty sleep." you felt bad for lying to calum, but you didnt want him to worry. putting stress on the boy would make you feel guilty because the boy already has so much to worry about; and you didnt want to add your depression on top of it. he knows that you've been diagnosed with the health problem and that you take medication but you made it so undetectable when you are going through it.
ever since you were young, you've always had to battle the pain on your own. your family thought it was a joke and that you couldn't have the mental illness because you had nothing to be depressed about. they were wrong however, it was a inner-self problem you fought on the daily that they would never understand. however, when you met calum, his kindness and handsome character sorta took it away, distracting you from not looking at the inner demons and most of all—he made you happy.
with calum around, you never felt the need to fake happiness or a laugh. however, that only lasted for a short amount of time before everything came flowing back.
"we can stay home if you want," calum suggested, lips grazing your cheek softly before kissing it with feather like touch.
"no, no, its okay, cal." you reassured, hands coming to hold his face lightly before kissing his lips. "go get dressed while i go let out duke yeah?"
the tan boy with dark chocolate eyes nodded gently, the two of you climbing over the hills of white cotton sheets and clouds of pillows. you slipped on your slides before walking out the door, duke quickly ghosting behind you as you headed to the door that went to the backyard.
sitting on one of the outdoor chairs, duke made his morning rounds across the property and sun bathed a little with you, the golden light warming you against the coldness that stifled the air. you really could go for a smoke but it was probably too early in the morning. instead, you just sighed watching leaves fall in the pool.
you never expected to be a person that would smoke but once you met calum and he told you how it helped him relieve whatever was bugging that beautiful mind of his, you couldnt help but want to feel that same feeling of letting go; even if it was just for five or ten minuets.
after a while, you and duke walked back in the house, the small dog running off god knows where while you wandered back to the bedroom. calum was laying across the bed fully dressed in a black tshirt, infamous grey sweats and one of his many dad hats.
