calum woke up in a drench of sweat, what felt like an infinite cycle of battling himself through the night. he was sick of it. he felt like he'll never get a good night's sleep and it just damaged him more than he already was.
he grabbed his phone to check the time, reading three in the morning. sighing, annoyed with the thought of sleep, and honestly scared, he got out of bed, walking out to the back and sitting on one of the lounge chairs, legs spread out as he grabbed the pack of cigarettes laying on the couch along with a lighter. smoke filled his lungs, his long fingers pulling the cancer stick away from his lips as he pushed the smoke out his nose.
he looked into space, his head running with thoughts, tired from little sleep and frustrated. his demons were slowly killing him inside out. he didn't know what he could do, calum felt like he had done all he could in his power to try and get rid of everything. he meditated, went to therapy when he could, wrote down his feelings, even changed bits of his diet so he couldn't have nightmares-yet nothing has chanced in a year of this pain and suffering.
a small tear rolled down his cheek, but more joined after. calum didn't know what was wrong with him. he felt all he did now was cry over this issue. he felt so weak and helpless, lost. he just wanted to feel okay-sleep for fucks sake and he couldn't even do that without being on his toes.
so he cried and finished his cigarette in the dark of the night.
once all there was left was a tiny bud, he dumped it in the ashtray, stepping back inside the house, walking to his bedroom. plopping on his bed, calum grabbed his phone, the lockscreen lighting up as he stared at it for a few seconds before unlocking the device.
he pressed the phone to his ear, hearing it ring for a while till he actually heard it click, which surprised him.
"h-hi, did i bug you? i'm sorry.. can i come over? i'll tell you when i'm over there... thank you, i'll be there soon.. bye"
he hung up the phone, shoving it in his pocket, putting on his slides and a hoodie before grabbing his keys and leaving the house. once he pulled out of his house's driveway, calum drove through the quiet streets of what normally was crazy los angeles. he enjoyed it a lot and cleared his mind driving, feeling better than he was earlier.
soon enough, the maori boy pulled up to an apartment building, going up the elevator till he hit the 3rd floor, apartment 28D. he had texted that he was there, leaning against the door frame before the door opened.
she stood there, looking sleepy but let him in anyways. quietly, they walked to her bedroom as her roommates were sleeping, the two sitting on her bed. "whats wrong?" she asked, calum pulling off his hoodie and kicking off his slides so he sat on the bed.
he looked down at his lap, picking at the dirt that was stuck under his nails, sighing. "i havent told you, or really anyone about this but.. mentally i haven't been the best. i've been struggling with the worst dreams and sleep paralysis, all that shit. lately i just feel so fucked up by it and it's driving me insane. like what the fuck does it want from me?" he spoke softly, biting down on his lip after. she looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, looking at boy she deeply cared about.
"calum, i'm so sorry." she frowned, crawling over and hugging him. he held onto her tightly, frowning as his eyes fluttered shut.
"its not your fault. but-its so hard sometimes." his voice broke, the girl's heart hurting for him, hugging him tighter.
"you'll get through this, okay?" she said, pulling and looking at his chocolate eyes. "fuck all them demons."
"i wish it was that easy." he sadly chuckled, looking at the girl before leaning down and kissing her. she felt her stomach flutter at the feeling. "can we lay down?"
"of course." she smiled. so the two of them climbed under the blankets, calum holding her in his arms as he closed his eyes.
she rubbed his side, finger tips under his shirt as she touched his warm skin, feeling him relax under her touch. "i'm so tired." he mumbled.
"sleep, love. i'll be right here." she said softly, kissing his chin looking at him. calum opened his eyes a little, sighing but nodding. as she continued to rub his side, he fell asleep, the boys breathing steadying.
she moved her hand up to his face, thumb running across his squishy cheek, touching his hair and back down to his chest. this was the first time really calum has gone to the girl, really opening up to her. they were only dating, nothing technically official, but in the time she has gotten to see calum in a more romantic way, her feelings for him have only grown. eventually, watching him sleep, she too fell asleep in his arms.
calum probably getting the best sleep hes gotten in months all because of her.
