Jihoon was standing in the kitchen humming to random tunes while making ramen for him & y/n . She'd been out with her family all day helping them and he couldn't wait for her to return home . He just wanted to eat ramen and laugh with her about things that weren't even funny .
His heart jumped as he heard the door to their shared apartment open and close . "Hey babe i- .. missed you" he stopped his sentence seeing as she just slipped from her shoes and pulled off her coat walking towards their bedroom . She seemed so drained .. so different from how he usually sees her .
Usually there was a smile , a happy aura .. positive energy . But right now she seemed so dull that she couldn't even put one foot in front of another to walk . He watched her go inside the room and close the door behind herself .
He was about to go ask what happened but the pot with the ramen started to boil over . He just figured he'd finish making it and take her a bowel when he goes to see what's up .
He'd began pouring the sauce packet in the ramen , his mind still on his girlfriends state when she walked in the house . A loud crash was heard though out the apartment and he paused listening to see if it'd happen again . When it did he dropped everything without another thought and ran to the bedroom where he found her throwing random objects in front of her .
"Baby what-" she screamed throwing a candle on the ground . The glass shattered making another loud sound flash throughout the apartment . Jihoon rushed over to her grabbing the lamp from her and wrapping his arms tightly around hers as she screamed and struggled against him .
"Hey- hey it's okay I got you , y/n calm down" he spoke as she continued struggling against him . His grip tightened scared that if he let her go she'd probably end up hurt . She stopped struggling and just collapsed. He went down with her as she sobbed heavily . "It's okay baby , I'm here .. can you tell me what's wrong?" He asked and she shook in his arms .. her body was so cold .
"I'm so tired jihoon .. I'm so freaking tired" she said before crying harder . "All I've ever been was a disappointment or used , someone everyone could project on but when it was me no one was there .. no one cares jihoon .. everything is so heavy ,, I feel so weak and disgusted with myself.. I hate everything .. it all hurts ,, everything hurts" she choked out and he held her tightly rocking her in his arms and kissing her forehead .
"I'm so tired of saying I'm okay and I'm not , I'm tired of everyone telling me what I can and can't do .. I'm tired of doubting myself because they said I should , I'm tired of living ji ,, I don't even know why I'm still here .. I'm tired of acting .. I'm tired .. I'm so so so so tired" she spoke her body jumping as she hiccuped repeatedly .
Jihoon didn't know what to do . He himself didn't even know she felt this way and he's her boyfriend .. they live together for gods sake and he didn't even notice . y/n began to fall asleep in his arms as he caressed her head softly his fingers getting tangled in her hair . She was exhausted from everything and she finally broke down and he didn't know how to do anything that could help .
Tears started to fall from his eyes as he looked down at her asleep in his lap her body constantly jerking as her breath came out shortened . A tear fell on the side of her face and she brought her hand up slowly to wipe it as he sniffled . "Don't cry , I'm sorry .. I promise I'm okay" her voice came out dull and dry as she spoke now just staring at the floor in the dark room . His heart hurt more at her sentence because he could feel it now . He knew she wasn't okay .
