Chapter 118

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We had been home from Vermont for a few days already. The holidays being over made me have the blues. It was the New Year and so many new chapters were on the horizon. But, the unknown was scaring me.

I was already thinking about Valentine's Day and Karen and Andy's birthdays. 

I had just gotten home from work. Andy could tell something was up.

I was slowly putting my stuff away and Andy just watched me in the living room.

"Your body language is sad. What's wrong darling?" Andy asked.

I paused in my tracks. 

"It's post-holiday depression I call it," I mumbled as I headed up the stairs.

I felt like I could burst into tears at any moment.

"Darling," Andy called as he followed up the stairs.

"Let me get comfy ok?" I told him.

Andy's eyes softened as he stared at me with worry.

I disappeared to change into something comfortable. When these waves of depression hung over my head, it would take a few days or weeks to try to make myself feel normal again. I went and took my contacts out. 

I came out of the bathroom. Andy was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Come here," Andy commented quietly as he held his arms open to me.

Andy embraced me, and we didn't say anything for a while. He knew that when I got into these moods, I needed physical reassurance. 

I took a deep breath.

"This is only temporary and the new chapters of happiness are just around the corner," Andy told me.

I smiled as I looked at him.

"Your smiling," Andy remarked.

"Yeah, I am actually," I realized.

I let go of the embrace he had on my torso so I could sit next to him on the bed.

"We will get you through it," Andy whispered as a reminder.

"Thank you for well everything. I'm such a hot mess most of the time and I don't understand how you deal with me,"  I commented.

"When you love someone, none of that matters. Your love for them outshines it all," Andy remarked as he left a kiss on my temple.

"But as much bullcrap I've been through and the things that happened last year," I began commenting.

Andy frowned at my statement.

"Darling that's not a healthy way to think about yourself or us at all," Andy told me.

"But," I replied.

Andy cut me off with a kiss.

I pulled away and looked at him.

"Our inner demons are just that. They aren't the truth. And know that I love you so much," Andy explained to me.

"I love you so much Andrew," I whispered as he embraced me once more.

"Everything will be ok I promise," Andy whispered as I felt a tear from his eye slide down my neck.

I pulled away to see him crying.

"W-why are you crying?" I asked him with a sniffle.

"Cause when your hurt, I'm hurt. I don't like seeing you hurt,"  Andy told me as he wiped my tears with his sleeve.

I sighed as I reciprocated it and wiped his tears away.

For a moment it was silence as we stared at each other.

"You probably think I'm crazy for crying," Andy told me.

"No, I don't think you are crazy love. You love me a lot and it's obvious to me and the entire world," I told him.

"I never thought in my life I'd find a woman who cares for me like the romance books and movies showed and damn did I get so lucky," Andy remarked.

"Aw love," I commented as I left a few kisses on his jawline.

Andy blinked away the tears that were left in his eyes. 

I got my sleeve and wiped his face clean.

"I got you and you got me," I promised him.

"Forever," Andy gestured to our wedding bands.

I grabbed Andy's hand and kissed it.

He smiled at the gesture.

"Are you feeling better?" Andy asked me.

"Actually yes love," I told him with a small smile.

"We should probably think about getting dinner started," Andy told me.

"I guess we do have to eat," I chuckled.

"Hey you are laughing," Andy remarked happily as I stood up.

"Small steps right?" I told him as I looked at him.

"The most important ones," Andy told me.

"Like I said, I got you and," I commented.

"And you got me," Andy replied as he grabbed my hand.

An evening that was blue but now things were turning happy in our little world.

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