Bad Habit - {Eddie Munson x y/n}

{Eddie POV}

I lay awake in bed at night, unsure of what woke me from my slumber in the first place, but here I am, staring at the ceiling in the darkness. I used to do this a lot before when I was still hiding my feelings from Y/N and even more so when we spent time distant from one another. I'd just lay there, contemplating life, hours could pass and I'd sit as still as rock, my thoughts plaguing my brain making it impossible to get back to sleep. It's different this time though, Y/N is sleeping soundly, her face tucked into the crook of my neck, I can hear every slow breath she takes.

Everybody talks about these great acts of love, the dates, the sex, the laughs, the memories, having someone to share life with; but they rarely mention what it feels like to sleep with your significant other. To wake in the night and feel them there beside you, to cosy in closer and hold them tightly against your skin. To remember that you're not alone in this bed, you're not alone in this life, you're not alone in this world - not anymore.

This woman beside me, woman I say, because Y/N is no longer the girl I grew up with. She's an intelligent, beautiful, charismatic and caring young woman. I've never seen her likes before and doubt I'll ever see it again. She'll never understand how truly thankful I am for her presence in my life. I've loved her for the longest time, though we are still young, I loved her even when I believed that I never even knew what love was. I had no first hand experience of the type of love between man and woman before, no real comparison to make, at least not in my immediate family.

I don't remember much of my parents, I was just a babe when my mom took off after my dad went to prison again for crimes unknown to me at the time. I try not to hate him, I try not to blame him. Unfortunately the Munson name seems to come with a bad omen, a hereditary habit of alcohol abuse which spurs on fits of rage and an incapability of sticking to the law which of course in the long run is gonna land you in the clink. My dad was raised by his dad, who was much the same, a poisonous ivy that grew with the bloodline. Uncle Wayne seems to have been immune to the gene, fortunately.

Nor do I hate or blame my mother for taking off when she did. She'd experienced my dads alcoholism and rage first hand, nothing a young woman barely in her twenties should endure. I sometimes wonder if she regretted having me, having this tie to my father that she couldn't sever. I wonder where she is now, is she married, does she have more kids, do I have half siblings that I'll never meet. Suppose I'll never know, unless she comes looking for me as I don't plan to seek her out, not anytime soon anyway.

Wayne had girlfriends throughout my childhood but no one who ever stuck the course. I fear maybe I was the problem. A man who lives in a one bed trailer, the only bedroom being occupied by a child that isn't his. Maybe not the most ideal situation for getting yourself a girlfriend. If it was me getting in the way of him finding love, I'd be really sad to know that but he has never let on that this was the case. I hope he's happy even without a woman by his side and I think he is. He's an easy man, he floats through life without much care, he's so laid back he's almost horizontal and I think he's exactly the kind of father figure that I really needed growing up. I've not been perfect or an idealistic son by any stretch, but I've always held so much respect for my uncle Wayne for stepping in for me when he did and stopping me from being flung into care. I am forever grateful to the man I consider more my father than my uncle and I love him so much.

I only hope I can do Wayne proud. I hope I can show Hawkins that the Munson name is not a curse, the chain can and will be broken. Hopefully the rotten seed that's been rooted in the bloodline of my father, my fathers father and so on, ends with me. Family is created with those that you choose, not just those that you were created by. I cannot outrun my families history, I can only work harder to create a new chapter in it. I vow to be a devoted husband and a loving dad one day, I know in my soul that's all I want from this life; and I want it with her. That's why I gave her the promise ring, I want her to know just how serious I am about making a future with her. She makes me feel at home. In a world of chaos, she makes me calm. She reminds me that I exist outside of peoples perceptions of me, I'm not just a lowlife, trailer trash Munson after all. This love, albeit all consuming and fierce, feels so simple and perhaps that's exactly how it should feel.

So I hug her a little tighter, pull her even closer and breath her in deeply. We are still so young and still have so much to look forward to. Sunrises and sunsets, books, songs and movies that we will love, birthdays, thanksgivings and Christmases to be spent together, next year we could be living in the city or have a trailer next to Wayne. Whatever may come, I'll be happy as long as I'm with her.
"I love you." I whisper into her hair, knowing she won't hear me but I mean the words all the same. This isn't very Ozzy of me, I know, but I am a deep thinker inside that skull of mine and a true romantic at heart. I plant a kiss against her cheek and close my eyes to sleep.

(I wanted to give you a glimpse inside of Eddie's head, sorry if this chapter is a lil emosh😢
He's a lot more complex than meets the eye
Please vote if you enjoyed this lil chapter♥️)