Bad Habit - {Eddie Munson x y/n}

A Case Of Mistaken Identity

(A/N ~ Listen to Mystery of Love - Sufjan Stevens if you really wanna get in your feels for this first bit)
~~ xoxo ~~

You hug your knees close to your chest, holding them tightly in your arms, maybe if I make myself small enough, I'll disappear completely, you think to yourself. You have barely moved from this fetal position since Chrissy left for school this morning. Your mom told you to take as many days off as you need, you didn't want to bump into Eddie in the corridors. Chrissy has stayed with you since Saturday and you are so, very grateful for her. She has been your shoulder to cry on, quite literally. You plan on laying here, perfectly still, until she comes back later.

Every time you blink it's like sandpaper against your eyeballs. You are so dehydrated from crying so much since Saturday night that you feel you have no more tears left to give. Now, you just lay here in a zombie state, unable to move, you've barely eaten a single bite of food and haven't even had enough energy to even shower. There's a breeze coming in through the bedroom window that your mom left open this morning when she came in to check on you, you do wonder if she's trying to tell you something, maybe I should shower, you think to yourself.

But right now, you just sit there for a while longer and wallow in your sadness. I miss him, I miss him so much. But I hate him, I hate him so much. So much sorrow runs through you when you glance at the spot on your bedroom floor where he had kissed you for the first time. Or when you remember that Sunday night when he came back to you after months apart, the fateful night the back of his van when you revealed your feelings for each other, becoming his girlfriend, saying 'I love you' for the first time and all the things that came after it. It had all seemed so perfect, like you were meant to be. Now you wonder where it all went wrong. You feel like everything you look at reminds you of him. You're entire bedroom, where you spent so many nights together as kids and then again as two teenagers in love, stupid love. Sleeping in your bed without him is pure misery. You wonder if he felt the same when he slept without you, be it his own fault, did he miss you, too?

You eventually pull yourself out of bed, dragging your comforter with you that's been like your safety blanket the passed couple of days. You make your way into the bathroom, turning the shower on, you strip out of the pyjamas you have been wearing since Saturday and toss them into the corner of the room. You feel light headed as you step under the steaming, hot stream of water, praying it'll make you feel even a tiny bit better. It's so hot it surely burns your skin, but you can hardly feel a thing. You are numb, a shell of a person. The only thing you feel right now is void. It's like there's a giant, heart sized hole in your chest. He tore it out and threw it into the shredder the second he laid his eyes on that fucking redhead.

You stand there, unmoving underneath the burning hot shower head until there's a light tapping on the bathroom door.
"Y/N honey?" Your Mom calls through the door softly.
"Yeah?" You manage to reply.
"I'm just heading out for the day okay, you look after yourself, darling. I'll be back soon." She tells you.
"Okay." Is all you have to say, you hear her footsteps retreating down the stairs before you hear the front door slam shut.

Her interruption pulled you from this trance like state at least, and you manage to muster the energy to wash yourself and your hair, which needed it badly. Your lip quivers as you lather your hair, thinking of all the times you and Eddie have showered together, gently washing one another in the most loving way. You loved things like that, so simple yet so personal and romantic. Some tears sting your eyes, the first ones of today so far, but I'm sure they won't be the last. You can't tell what's dripping from the shower or from your eyes, they fall at the same rate. You sob and sob and sob, your breath is ragged, your head begins to ache. How could he throw all that we had together away for someone he barely even knows, a stupid kiss in a parking lot with some groupie.