💫She's Different💫

Bella And Olivia

Bella's Bedroom (May 1st)
"Sometimes I wish bad things didn't happen to me. Sometimes I cry a lot about it."
"I wish the same thing for you. But sometimes bad things have to happen so the good things can come. Like look at where we are sweet pea." Bella started to cry a little and I comforted her.
"Let it all out. It's okay! It's okay!" Her screams were muffled but they were loud to me and it hurt my heart so much.
"I'm so proud of you for talking to me about it. That was so brave!"
"I wish it didn't happen!" She cried.
"It's all my fault!"
"What happened isn't your fault. We don't have to talk about it anymore if you don't want to."
"I just want to not think about it." She needs a distraction.
"I just want to not think or talk about it anymore right now."
"Alright. We don't have to. We don't have to."
***
Bella's been really sweet lately. I see it as a sign that she's starting to grow up. She doesn't argue much, she doesn't fight with Noah much either it's been so amazing.
"Mommy, Can I ask a question?"
"Sure my best girl."
"Are we still in New York?"
"Yes, we're just in a place called Long Island."
"That's a funny name!"
"It is huh? Are you excited to go to out with just me today?"
"Yes! We're going to the pool right?"
"Yup!"
"I'm so happy!"
"That's great. Mommy loves it when Bella is happy."
"Bella loves it when mommy is happy too." My mom laughed and looked at me with the mirror.
"Mommy, how come there's no buildings? It's just really pretty houses!"
"Because we're not in the city anymore munchkin."
***
"This is my other house." I set my bag down and Bella looked around.
"I like it mommy!"
"I'm glad you do! We're going to come here in the summer after school is over."
"Really? That's so cool."
"Yep! Now sweet pea do you want to go out for lunch or make sandwiches?"
"Make sandwiches." I went in the fridge and took out turkey and bread and vegetables.
"Can I have cucumber in mine?" I nodded and cut her some pieces to eat in the mean while.
"Do bunnies like cucumbers?"
"I think so."
"I hope they do! My bunny needs to eat soon." She kissed her bunny and watched me make the sandwiches.
"Maybe you should take off those clothes. You can go straight into the pool after lunch."
"You have a pool?!"
"Yes, look right there." Her eyes filled with amazement as she looked at the pool.
"This is the best house ever!"
***
"Enjoying your sandwich?"
"Yes mommy."
"Do you feel better from the last time we talked?"
"A little." I motioned for her to come and sit in my lap.
"Have you been crying at all? Even in secret?"
"Only one time. And then I didn't cry after that."
"Did you have any bad dreams?"
"No."
"It's great that you're feeling better." I gave my daughter a kiss and stared into those cute little hazel eyes. She was happy. For once she was happy and I didn't have to look into her eyes and see fear or sadness.
"Mommy I can tell you anything?"
"Mhm."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"If people do things that feel good but you're not supposed to do it is it still bad?"
"In what way?"
"I don't know how to explain."
"Okay. So let's think about it let's say you and a friend eat some candy that I told you guys not to eat. It feels good to eat yummy candy, huh?"
"Yes."
"But did mommy say that you could have it?"
"No, so that means it still bad because we'll get scolded."
"Exactly, Which is why even if something feels good, if someone says don't do it you shouldn't."
"Okay mommy. Mommy I going to swim now."
"Do you want me to come in?"
"Yes please!" She walked over to the pool and put on her goggles.
"Wanna jump in?" She nodded and held my hand.
"1, 2, 3!" We jumped in and the water hit us hard.
"That was super cold!" She splashed me and giggled.
"Did you just splash me?" She splashed me again and tried to swim away.
"Oh no you don't!" I picked her up and tossed her in the air.
"That was fun mommy! Again, again!" I threw her up again and caught her.
"Uh-oh."
"What?" She laughed and splashed me again.
"Hey! You tried to play me just now!"
***
Bella's Perspective
I'm spending time with my mommy and it makes me really happy! It was starting to get dark and mommy took me to a thing called a hammock after dinner and jammies. We sat together on the hammock and she read me a book.
"And they do not tease Mr. Crocodile again." I clapped and put my head on mommy.
"Mommy when I'm a big girl we can still spend time together?"
"Of course!"
"Okay! Mommy, look at the stars!"
"They're beautiful, right?"
"Yeah, look at those two stars! One looks bigger and one look like a little baby."
"I think those stars are us."
"Me too. I love you so much mommy!"
"I love you to that star and back sweet pea."
"I love you from a million stars and back!" She tickled me and then took out her phone.
"Selfie?"
"Yes, mommy!" I smiled as she took a photo with flash.
"It's so bright!"
"I know! Fifteen minutes before you go to bed okay?"
"Fine."
"Do you wanna talk still?"
"Yeah, mommy do I have a grandma?"
"Umm, you do. But she's not here right now."
"What about a grandpa?"
"We'll talk about it when you're older,"
"But why?"
"Because." Mommy looks really sad. I don't think I should ask anymore.
"Okay mommy."
"Let's go to bed now." She picked me up and took me inside and upstairs into the small little room that she said was mine.
"Sweet pea,"
"Yeah?"
"Why do you look like that?"
"Because I made you sad."
"Aww, mommy's okay. I'm fine."
"Are you?"
"Yes. Now let's go to sleep, okay?"
"Good night. I love you." I looked at her sadly.
"Bella?"
"I love you too."
"Sleep well my girl."