💫She's Different💫

Bella's Competition

March 20th (3 Months Later)
"I can't believe you're doing your first competition! It's like you joined gym the other day!" Mommy said. She put some makeup on my face and I sneezed.
"Bless you!"
"Thanks, I'm so nervous Mommy! What if I do bad and I don't place!"
"You'll do just fine! Trust me." We were the only ones in the room since we were pretty early. I was doing a floor routine and I kept going through it while we had the empty room. My palms were sweating and I had butterflies in my stomach.
"You'll be okay, you'll do just fine. I know you can!"
"Good morning ladies!"
"Hey, Coach Summers."
"Hey Bella, you look beautiful! You're gonna do great."
"Bella's nervous," Mommy said with a laugh.
"Ahh, she'll do fine. We polished this routine months ago."
"But what if,"
"No buts, you'll jinx it." I hugged Mommy and she tapped my back.
"You'll do fine!" But it was so hard to not be nervous...And the butterflies were starting to flutter around in-
"Hey Bella, you look nice!"
"Thanks!" We talked for a bit and it really helped calm my nerves.
**********
Moments Before My Turn
My friends and I were to the side and we were doing our little handshake.
"You're gonna do good!" Natalie said.
"I'm so scared,"
"Don't be, this is your routine and your time to shine! Gotta do good and make me proud." That's why I liked Natalie, she always helps me calm down, even though she's older than me she's a good friend.
"Contestant 59." The person said.
"Go,go!" I went out to the floor and started my routine. It had quite a few tricks and leaps so I tried my hardest to make them "clean". Everyone's staring at me and I can't tell if I'm doing good or bad!
"Make eye contact with the judges." I remembered Coach saying to me. I finished my routine with a split and everyone clapped. The judges looked at each other and smiled. Did I do good?! I got off the floor and walked away "gracefully" to my Mom once everyone was done preforming.
"You did so well! I'm so proud of you!"
"Thank you."
"Bella?"
"Uncle!" I ran up to him and he had roses.
"Thank you! I love them!"
"You did amazing out there. When are you gonna start doing dance competitions?"
"I don't know about that yet..." A while ago I switched from ballet to contemporary dance. I thought really long and hard about it. I didn't feel like doing ballet anymore, I wanted to try something new and so I did.
"Well, I'll support you in whatever you do sweet pea."
"Thanks,"
"Bella, you did amazing! Everyone was like wow! I totally think you won for your division Bellz!"
"Thanks guys, Ahh I'm nervous again."
"Oh my gosh don't worry!" Natalie said.
"It's hard not to." Coach Summers came as they dismissed everyone so they could grade how everyone in the competition did.
"Bella, you were absolutely stunning! You did better than I expected! That's my girl!"
"Thanks Coach! I tried my hardest!"
"You never let me down. I'm proud of you girl! Let's go grab some grub."
"Yeah!"
"Mom?" I said.
"Yes honey?"
"Let's go get lunch."
"No it's okay, go honey. Have fun."
"Alright, Bye Uncle, Bye Mommy."
*************
The Gym (Olivia's Perspective)
"She's growing up." Fin said.
"I know, she loves spending time with her friends these days."
"Middle school is soon."
"Don't tell me, I got 1 more year of elementary with her. I'm savoring it."
"Where's Bell Ma?" Noah said.
"With her friends. Let's go get some McDonald's." We went outside and walked a couple of blocks. Just guess who we saw there.
"Hi!" Bella waved and went back to talking to her friends.
"Why won't she sit with us?"
"Because your sister is socializing, she tells me you do the same thing," Fin said.
"Mommy?"
"Yeah honey?"
"I wanna go home now."
"We have to wait until they call us back for awards."
"Okay." She sat next to Fin and they joked around.
"No, no boyfriends!" She said frantically. She looked at me for help, but I couldn't save her from Fin.
"It better stay that way." He joked.
"Uncle Fin! It can't stay that way-"
"What?!" Noah laughed and watched as she covered her face.
"Nobody heard that. Right?"
"Trust me, everyone did."
**********
Inside The Building (Bella's Perspective)
"We have to start heading back now," As we went back inside I was excited and nervous. Excited to see my friends win something and nervous to know what I won. Or if I even won at all! The butterflies are literally crawling up! I sat down on the stage and folded my hands.
"You're gonna get an award." My mom mouthed.
"Stop, you're embarrassing me!" I mouthed back. She laughed and I rolled my eyes in a playful way. I was there for a while, and then.....
"First place in the 8-9, contestant 59 with Starlight!" I stood up and got the award. I got a 1st place award?! What?! I don't deserve this! My heart was racing and I just felt so happy and proud of myself. When the competition was officially over I felt tired but relieved.
"See, I told you that you'd do good Bellz."
"Thanks Nat."
"Omg, you got first place in your first comp?! You're going to be a shining star!"
"Thank you Lauren." My family came over and I told my friends that I'd see them in gym class.
"I'm so proud of you!"
"Thanks Mom,"
"You've been saying thanks a lot today."
"Duh Noah! It's the polite thing to do."
"Princess, you did so good." I gave my Uncle a kiss and we all went home. I was quite happy with myself.
********
The Kitchen (Olivia's Perspective)
"Mom?"
"I'm listening."
"Do you think I'm growing up?"
"Yes, of course. You like spending time with your friends more than me, but that's alright."
"That isn't true."
"Yes it is babe."
"Well, I guess so-" My daughter finished her lunch and looked out the window.
"I'm going to my room,"
"Okay hun." She walked away quietly and went upstairs. Some conversations with my daughter ended like that, what could I do about it?
"I'm coming back out never,"
"Does this have something to do with our conversation? Are you upset?"
"No, I just don't know."
"Don't know what?" She sat down on the staircase and I sat next to her.
"Don't know why I'm having all of these flashbacks."
"Sometimes talking about it helps."
"But I already told you most of them!" She whined.
"Stay calm honey, stay calm." She started to cry and I rubbed her back supportively. Bella tends to get quite irritable when she has flashbacks.
"Sorry,"
"It's okay, I know it's hard."
"It really is, I just keep seeing the same thing over and over and I'm tired of it. I really am!"
"I'm so sorry honey," she rested her head on my lap and I tried to make her feel better.
"I wish I knew someone who's been through the same thing as me. Sometimes I feel like you don't even get it. You don't know what it's like to have people do that to you." In these moments I really wish that I could open myself up to my daughter and explain my near encounter with sexual assault. But she's still not old enough to know about it. When I feel like she's ready, I'll personally tell her. But for now, it's like this. I have to pretend that I don't know what she's feeling, I don't know some of the thoughts going through her head, and I don't want to lie to my baby.
"I know, but with all of the cases that I've dealt with I know exactly what you're feeling because I've heard it from so many different people. I do get it honey,"
"But Mom....."
"What? What do you want to say to me?"
"Never mind."
"What is it honey? You can tell me."
"No, I'm!" She moved away and I looked at her.
"Hey, what's going on? Let me in, shutting me out doesn't help."
"Yeah it does." She went to her room and I couldn't stop her. She needed to calm down. She needed personal space. Poor Baby.
*************
Kung Fu Tea (Bella's Perspective)
"You got your bubble tea so you're all happy now, aren't you?"
"Yeah! This tastes so good." I got a large Oreo wow and it's basically milk with Oreo crumbs in it and bubbles. Sooo good!
"How was your week babes?"
"Better, when I saw Mrs.Caron I told her some things and she asked me how much of an impact was the secret having on my life and I said I didn't know. She said it was a question I could take home with me after we talked and did some calming things."
"Mhm, do you know what she meant by her question?" Mommy sipped her lemonade and ate her fried rice.
"I don't know what impact means."
"It means like what kind of an effect did it have on you? How much of an effect does the secret have on your life right now?"
"Well, to be honest....I don't think about it much anymore. Only at night when I'm up past my bedtime."
"So not that much."
"Yeah. Im getting better Mommy."
"You are, and I'm proud of you." I drank some of my mother's drink and she raised her eyebrow.
"Woah!"
"It tastes disgusting."
"It does not. Jasmine tea is amazing."
"It's really gross!" We laughed and I felt so fuzzy. She likes weird bubble teas.
"This is why I love spending time with you. You're simply just so opinionated that it's funny."
"What does that mean?"
"You have quite the opinion quite a bit of the time."
"I agree. Can I get another bubble tea?!"
"How are you done already Bella?!"
"I was just so thirsty, ya know?!"