💫She's Different💫

Bella's Realization

June 28th
So, today's the last day of 4th grade and I was in my bed crying. At first, I didn't really understand why I was crying. I was confused and it made me cry even more. But now, I really get it. I'm growing up, and I don't want to grow up. In fifth grade, they start preparing us for middle school! I don't want to leave my school!
"Bella?" My mom knocked on the door and I swallowed back a tear.
"I know you're upset honey. Wanna talk about it?"
"Not now. I don't feel too well."
"Will you at least eat something?"
"Sure." I opened the door and she was holding a plate of lasagna.
"You're favorite."
"Thanks Ma," she sat next to me as I sat on the floor and ate.
"Feel better?"
"Yeah, lasagna always helps."
"I know that you don't want to talk about it right now, and that's okay. And if you don't want to talk to me about it at all that's okay too. As long as you're happy again, I don't really care."
"I mean, I do wanna tell you. I just want to really think about why I'm upset first, you know."
"Alright, and that's okay. Take as much time as you need." I sipped some water and looked up at her.
"What's wrong?" I cried again and she held me close, the way she would when I was much smaller. She hasn't held me like that in a long time.
"It's okay to cry." She whispered.
***********
First Day Of Summer
I wasn't feeling like doing crap, but guess who agreed to have a sleepover with their best friend??? Me. It's too late to back out now, so I just have to get "better".
"Ugh. Eggs taste gross today."
"Someone's in a sour mood." Lucy said.
"I'm just upset!" I ripped the bread into tiny pieces and rolled them into a ball.
"What's wrong? And stop playing with your food." She stared at me until I quit it and I but down the bread.
"Don't wanna talk about it. And you know what makes it worse? I have to go to a sleepover today and I'm not feeling it. But it's too late to cancel."
"Oh Bella, you shouldn't feel obligated to do something if that's not what your heart wants. Plus, if you go with a negative feeling in your heart it'll turn the sleepover into a negative experience and I don't want you to come home more upset than when you left."
"I kind of want to go though Lucy."
"Make your mind up honey, so I can help."
"I want to go."
"Okay, so how about we do some painting out in the backyard with Noah. Would that help you calm down?"
"Yeah."
"Alright. Let's go."
"Noah! Come outside!" I started to paint and I felt very calm. I painted Noah and it came out a bit funny. At least it didn't come out badly, I guess.
"That looks gorgeous."
"Thank you."
"Lemme look at myself. I look so handsome! How amazing!" He pretend fainted and I laughed.
"You did good sis." He gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug.
"Thanks Noah!"
"I think I feel ready to go this sleepover Lucy."
"That's good! I'm glad you feel better!" I smiled and I looked at her painting.
"What's that Lucy?"
"I don't know to be honest. Just something."
"Looks cute."
"How kind of you."
*********
Kylie's House
"Bella! Mama, Bella and Lucy are here!"
"Come on in!" Mrs.A said.
"Good evening!"
"Good evening Bella. Go on and settle in while I talk to Lucy." We took the elevator up to the 5th floor of their house and went to Kylie's room. It was way bigger than mine and she had a walk-in closet.
"So, What do you wanna do bestie?"
"Let's watch a movie or something."
"Okay, let's watch Beauty and The Beast. Favorite movie ever."
"Cool." We went down to the movie room and made some popcorn.
"Bella, wanna year a secret?"
"Sure."
"We're in a class with our old friends again."
"But they said that they weren't telling us. How did you figure out?"
"I saw the paper with the new class lists this is going to be so much fun."
"Do you know who our teachers are?"
"Ms. Hinds and some guy. I don't remember."
"Wow. They're obviously new."
"Yeah."
"Girls. Come upstairs." We went upstairs to the kitchen and Mr.A was there.
"Hey Bella. What's up?"
"Nothing much. You?"
"I'm doing fine." He ruffled my hair and smiled.
"Hey Bella."
"Hey." I said to Kylie's older sister.
"What's the plan for dinner?"
"Chinese?" I looked at Kylie and shook my head.
"You're in love!"
"Says you!"
"It's my fault!" We joked around and everyone laughed.
"Chinese it is then."
"Daddy, were gonna go play while we wait for
The food!"
"Alright, you girls have fun."
"Where should we go?"
"The playroom."
"The playroom?"
"Yeah! Come on!" She dragged me into the elevator and took my upstairs. This was gonna be a very long night.
*********
Bella's Bedroom (Olivia's Perspective)
I was simply just cleaning, because my daughters room was incredibly messy and I found something interesting.
"Her diary?" I sat down for a moment and looked inside.
Bella's Latest Entry (July 1st)
So I was kind of sad. And I'll only tell you, diary. Mommy wants me to tell her but I can't do that right now. It's just not really that easy. I just feel all awkward and...yeah. I was sad because I didn't really want to go to 5th grade because i don't want to leave my school and my friends. I'm gonna go cry again.
I closed the book and put it back where I found it. I'll pretend that I never read that and let her talk to me about it herself. Because Bella would absolutely flip if she heard that I read her super secret diary. So I'll just have to act as if I don't know where it is.
"Mom? You're still cleaning?"
"Pretty much. Did you clean your room?"
"Of course I did. I'm amazing like that. You know?"
"Sure.."
"Can I go to a friends? I'm bored."
"You know what, I was thinking that we could go to a movie today."
"Can we go after??" I've really been losing my kids to friends lately.
"You can go to Brandon's for about an hour. Then, we're going to the movies. I'm going to let you walk there by yourself. At 1:45 I expect you to be back in this house. If you can not be home by then, we're not going anywhere and you won't be allowed to go over there yourself. Understood?"
"Totally."
"Look left and right before you cross the street."
"I know Mom," He slid on his shoes and grabbed his backpack. He left the house and I watched as he walked to his friends house.
"He's going to grow up to be a fine, fine boy." I whispered to myself. He waved at me and I waved back. He turned the corner and I let out a sigh of relief. My phone vibrated and I knew he got there safely.
"Thank goodness."
*************
Living Room (Bella's Perspective)
"Mommy," I sat in her lap and gave her a hug.
"You're staying to get heavy." I laughed and she turned on the tv.
"Did you shower today?"
"I didn't shower today."
"Bella," I looked at her and stayed quiet.
"You're becoming a young lady. It's important that you clean yourself more often. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes."
"Go shower." I went upstairs to my room and sat in the window seat. I looked at the sunny sky and down at myself in my mirror. I wrote in my diary and laughed about my sleepover with Kylie. We shared so many secrets it it crazy.
"And Kylie said, it's not okay to talk to boys anymore. Because they're stinky!" I giggled out loud as I wrote it and put it down.
"Bella Benson, I hope you're taking a shower young lady!" I ran into the bathroom and turned on the water quickly. I was not about to get in trouble for not taking a shower!
"I'm showering!" I said as I poured mango soap onto my rag. So relaxing! I blew away a bubble and smiled.
Flashback*
"Mermaid!" I played with my toys in the bubble bath and Livia laughed.
"Do you love Ariel the mermaid?"
"Yeah! Favorite mermaid ever!"
"Livia, I want t