💫She's Different💫

Bella Confesses

My Bedroom
I couldn't even be sad that I was on punishment. I deserved it. No matter how upset I was, it wasn't kind to speak to Noah like that. I plan on apologizing, just not now. I wanted to talk to someone other than my therapist or Mommy. I want to talk to someone else. I can't talk to Uncle Fin, he'd just be overprotective and give me the "facts". "Well you know better Bellz." Yeah, duh Uncle. Same with Uncle Carisi, "Learn from this mistake, and don't do it again." He'd say. I'm tired of hearing that! I want someone to just listen to me, not scold me. I went and got the house phone from the living room.
"What are you doing out of your room?" My mother questioned. I went back up to my room and closed the door. I dialed the number and waited patiently.
"Liv?"
"It's Bella."
***********
The Dining Room
Mommy ordered pizza. Now, I didn't particularly want this pizza because the toppings just weren't it.
"I don't want any."
"So what are you going to eat?"
"Nothing. I'm not hungry."
"Sit here."
"I don't want any-"
"Bella, go sit." I sat down at the table far away from Noah.
"You need to eat something."
"I'm not hungry." I pushed the food away and she got a bit angry.
"Bella, can you go into my room please."
"But-"
"Go, now." I went upstairs and sat on her bed. First, she punished me and now she wants to talk. I wish she'd just leave me alone.
"Bella, you know that I don't want to be like this with you. Why are you acting like this?"
"Like what?! I'm just reacting to what you're doing to me. Noah was being annoying so I told him to shut up. You're forcing me to eat something nasty and I said I'm not hungry."
"Mr.Moretti told me about your behavior." I paused and looked at her. She fixed herself and then got the journal.
"And what you wrote in here. Asking me if you could go to Central Park alone. How you went and called someone, just out of the blue. How you ended this letter saying, with hate. You're angry about something." She sighed and I was ready for a speech.
"Bella, we've talked about this. It's okay to be angry. But it isn't okay to treat people badly." I went to my bedroom and slammed the door. She was right. But I didn't want anyone telling how to handle my problems. Thankfully the person I called was coming over tomorrow. I needed to talk to someone else for once.
************
My Room (Saturday) (Olivia's Perspective)
"Bella, talk to me."
"What is there to talk about?" I was getting more and more fed up by the minute.
"Okay, go to your room." I said. She walked away silently.
"And you're not coming out until you talk to me." I hate to be this hard on Bella, but this is the only way she'll talk to me. On top of being punished for what she said. The doorbell rang and I wondered who it was. I went downstairs to see Amanda.
"You were unexpected."
"Hello to you too Liv." We laughed and I gave her a hug.
"Where's Bella?" She asked calmly.
"In her room. Im guessing she called you."
"She did. She said she'd rather speak to me."
"Okay... can you at least tell me what she said?" She raised her eyebrows and shrugged.
"Bella, Amanda is here." She came down quietly and gave Amanda a hug.
"Hey Berry. Don't cry, it's okay." I watched as Bella hugged Amanda and I felt slightly jealous. Bella usually only ever does that to me.
"How about we talk outside, where it's just you and me? Like we planned."
"I'll go change." She went back upstairs and I shook my head.
"I just want my daughter back." I said quietly.
"I understand. You will have her back."
**********
Central Park (Bella's Perspective)
"I figured since you called me it was something serious." She pointed towards the bench and we sat down.
"Tell me what's going on." I sighed and looked at my Aunt.
"How it all started?"
"Mhm." I sighed and looked at the floor.
"Baby, I can't help you if you don't talk to me."
"Okay." I looked at her and then at the birds.
"At the dinner table, Noah said that I was thinking about my teacher Mr. Moretti. I got super angry and I told him to shut up when he asked me why I ignored him." My aunt thought for a moment before responding.
"Bella, I'm going to ask you this. I'm not trying to offend you, okay?"
"Okay."
"Do you like him?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"Do you see him as someone cute, or handsome? Because if you do, you don't have to be ashamed. No ones here to judge." I shook my head and played with her hands.
"It's weird to think of a teacher like that. That's very.... nasty. I don't.... like any boys." I blushed kind of and looked down. My aunt laughed at me and I laughed too.
"Look at you all embarrassed."
"I don't like anyone, I swear Aunty."
"I believe you, you never say I swear. But let me say this, when you react like that people will believe it's true. So when you go home, apologize to Noah. And talk to your Mom."
"I don't wanna tell her."
"She feels upset that you won't tell her."
"But I tell her so many things Aunty. Why do I have to talk about this too?"
"She's your Mother."
"Not my real one anyways."
"She's the Mother that's been there for you. She is your real Mom."
"I guess."
"Honey, she loves you. And, she's really worried about you. Promise me that you'll talk to her."
"I promise. You have my word for it." We shared a hug and started to talk about some things that happened to 'Manda when she was a kid.
"You're so silly."
"I was, wasn't I?"
***********
Mommy's Room
"Knock, knock."
"Hey, Bella." She stopped her work and made space for me.
"Can we talk, please?"
"Sure." She put her book down and I sat next to her.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"I want to explain myself... to you."
"Okay, I'm listening."
"Basically, Noah was like saying without saying that I liked Mr. Moretti."
"In what way?"
"That way."
"And you got angry?"
"Yeah,"
"Do you-"
"No, I don't. Because that's inappropriate, and it's inappropriate the other way around too Mama."
"It is inappropriate the other way around. You're right love."
"It's okay to like teachers?" I asked.
"We can talk about that another time, okay?"
"Kay. But, I'm sorry that I treated you the way I did." I gave her a hug and she patted my back.
"I love you Mama."
"Love you more honey." I went downstairs to Noah's room and I told him sorry.
"Even though I still hate you, I love you."
"Hate is a strong word."
"This is why I told you that."
"It's hard to accept an apology when you say you will hate me."
"Fine, I love you less. I'm not going to talk to you anymore." I went back upstairs and started to read my book again.
"Baby girl?"
"Yes?"
"Want something to eat?"
"Yes please." I went into her room and she started ordering food. Everything's better when Mommy orders food. That's how I knew everything was back to "normal."
*********
Sunday Morning (Olivia's Perspective)
I sat in my room alone. I thought about life, and bills, but mostly life.
Flashback
"It scary Livia!"
"No one will hurt you, I promise."
"No, it bad. It bad." Bella started to cry and I caressed her.
"Look at me, not a thing will happen. Livia would never lie."
"But him gonna see me." She said.
"He can't do anything to you. If he does, he'll be in big trouble. Now, a man-"
"No man!"
"He's-"
End of Flashback
"Mommy, let's have a girl talk."
"Oh, okay. What do you want to talk about?"
"About being a girl because being a girl is like hard a bit." I nodded as my daughter talked.
"Sometimes, I don't like being a girl."
"Why?"
"Because on Thursday I wanted to play soccer with the boys. But, they wouldn't let me because I'm a girl." She sighed and I looked at her.
"What did you do about it?"
"I walked away. Maybe they were-"
"They weren't right, girls can do anything Bella. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." She looked pretty shocked and then started to speak.
"We just didn't play it."
"Tomorrow, I want you to go and tell them that soccer is for everyone. You hear me?"
"Yes." She played with her hands and then spoke again.
"Mommy, when I become a teenager can I do over my room?" I nodded.
"I'll do it black!"
"Oh, no no honey." She laughed and jumped into my arms.
"You're so snuggly, oh my goodness. My snuggly little girl."
"I'm not little I told you!" I tickled her until we both got immensely tired.
"I like spending Sunday morning with you Mommy. You're the best."
"So do I. You're the best little girl on the planet."
"Best Mommy on the planet."
"Best little girl in the world."
"Best Mommy in the world."
"Are we going to keep doing this?" I asked.
"Yes. We are." As Bella kept telling me how much of a good mother I was I couldn't help but think, how will Bella be as a tween if she's this sweet now?
"I hope you were listening."
I was, I swear!"